The Beginning Runner's Blog doesn't exist anymore, go to snarktart.com

Here’s What You May Have Missed

2010-12-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

I divorced my husband.

Just kidding, but I totally got you to click on this post, DIDN’T I?

Actually, something tells me that I whole effing lot of you still migrate over to my new blog VIA this blog … I mean, I can’t quite say what is telling me that ::cough::google analytics::cough::

So … In celebration of the coming holiday I’ve prepared a little something for you.

●●●●●

On the First day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a post about how babies make her wanna hide in the corner and wee wee!

On the Second day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a vlog about putting on makeup just like the snarky! (see my new haircut!)

On the Third day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a Gingerbread Pumpkin pie and a really (I cried in Starbucks!) hilarious story!

On the Fourth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … four posts about how to ride Amtrak and not ride miserably!

Your Excuse to Ride the Caboose (why you need to ride the train)
Train Brain (the details!)
Snacks on the Tracks (what the fuck to eat.)
All Aboard or Always Bored? (what to do with yourself.)

On the Fifth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … FIVE (sing it!) posts with recipes!

Grillkill Pizza (cooking pizza dough on the fuckin BBQ!)
Dairy free pina coladas (I totally dragged out wedding attire for this one!)
Portabella Panini's (omg yum.)
Pancetta Pasta Toss (men will melt at your feet to eat this.)
Potato/Pancetta Frittata (aka, Afterfuck Frittata, feed the sex.)

On the Sixth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … plans for sixth months of training for a full marathon … oh kill me …

On the Seventh day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … seven he-be-gee-bees as she killed a spider in her backyard and scared me!

On the Eighth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a super real talk about weight gain and the resulting tragedy.

On the Ninth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … cupcakes fresh from the oven that she cooked while nakie!

On the Tenth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … details about her new house, new dog and why she caught a bad case of housewifery!

On the Eleventh day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … a reason to have “little autumn induced orgasms” everyday for nearly free!

On the Twelfth day of Christmas my true snark gave to me … the reality that child abuse isn't going to be solved with cute cartoon avatars/profile pictures. Read the post and grow up … eeeeeeee!

I seriously hope you sang all of that to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas … and I seriously hope that it’s stuck in your head for the rest of the day, because I know it’s rattling around in mine …

And OH MY FUCKING GAWD SALLY … STOP FOLLOWING THIS BLOG, I’M NOT HERE ANYMORE AND LOOK AT ALL THE GREAT CRAP YOU’RE MISSING OUT ON!

Cooking Naked

2010-10-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

Dude. You’re totally missing out by still following this blog and not my new blog.

Today, I’m cooking cupcakes half naked and there are effing pictures! Get over there!

Git!

2010-10-13T07:06:00.000-07:00

Like an un-wanted hound, you are being shunned from this blog. For the love of glitter toast, go to the new blog and don’t come back! There’s a post this morning over there that kicks off a 4 part series about riding the train … okay so that sounds really boring, I know. I promise to throw some giggly stuff in there. Always.

Little Autumn Induced Orgasms

2010-10-11T17:25:00.001-07:00

It just keeps getting better and better and you just keep missing out. I can tell that half of my readers of my new blog rely on THIS blog to get there. Dude. Not cool.

I’m trying to rid myself of this haggard old blog … so just stalk the new blog already so we can kill this damn thing off!

Make sure you didn’t miss today’s post … Little Autumn Induced Orgasms and quit comin’ ‘round here … ya hear?

Be Still My Trembling Uterus

2010-10-08T13:01:00.001-07:00

I bet your curiosity is KILLING you on this one. You should probably just head over to my new blog and read it all up. It’s good stuff.

If anyone is having problems “following” my new blog, I’ve made it even easier than before. When you arrive on the homepage (aren’t all the purple sparkles and rainbow glitter enough to make you wanna squeal like an ‘ittle girl!?) you’ll see some icons hanging out in the upper left corner. Click the little orange “feed” button and when it takes you to my feed page you’ll see a pale yellow box with one of the options: “Add this to my Google Reader” … do as they say (if you’re not logged in, use the same login you use with Blogger) and wah-la, you are now “following” me. Just be careful, I’ve been known to walk into deep black holes and swamps of goo before.

Something else you maybe might wanna do? Stop following this blog. Like seriously, just un-follow it. Now.

Unfortunately For You, I Ain’t Dead.

2010-10-07T08:33:00.001-07:00

So I took a one month hiatus from blogging but I think I’ve got my mental issues under control and I’m ready to tackle this again.

Once again, I would like to remind you all that

this blog no longer exists y’all, please exit the building in a calm and peaceful dash & get the eff outta here.

My new blog can be found by following this incredibly long linkable sentence.

Don’t come back here again … remove this blog from your “following” list and go update to my new blog. GO!

Seattle Sees a Snark

2010-08-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

Wondering where the heck I went? Perhaps you missed the fact that I have a new, sexy blog. Sexy sexy. (I think I'm just *asking* for the spammy comments now.)

So I went to Seattle last week and it'd be really effing awesome if you went over to my new blog and settled in for a short photo post about the trip. Just for kicks and giggles.

Love ya. Now go update your stuff. Go.

Thanks for Being a Twit

2010-08-12T14:03:00.001-07:00

-ter follower (that is).

I don’t know when I’m going to stop double posting on this old hag of a blog, probably once Google Analytics tells me you have stopped coming here looking for a cookie crumble …

To find out who won the contest … you’ll need to advance yourself over to Snarktart and make sure you up-dizzle your links, bookmarks and readers. Much love to you all for playing along.

The Five Finger Facial

2010-08-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

I bet you’d really like to know what that is. All you have to do is head over to the new blog and read away.

I also had a few people have some trouble adding the new blog to their Google Reader. If the widget isn’t working for you, log on to Google Reader, find the button in the upper left hand corner that says “Add Subscription” and then when the search box pops up, type www.snarktart.com and it should add the feed right away.

Now get out of here, this blog doesn’t exist anymore right?

About That Running Stuff

2010-08-09T13:22:00.001-07:00

Remember, we talked about this. I’m not here anymore… you have to head on over to the new blog. Update your links, your blogroll, your reader … whatever you do … do it.

“To be a runner you need the heart of a runner. Ladies and (maybe) gentlemen, I don’t have the heart of a runner. I have the ass of a runner …”

Also, today is the last day to enter that little nail polish giveaway for being a Twitter follower of @snarktart and don’t forget, you can’t just follow, you have to let me know you followed in the comments of either the original contest post … or that same post on the new blog. Also tweet about the giveaway for an extra entry!

Introductions

2010-08-06T11:51:00.001-07:00

The day has finally arrived. I know that for some of you, this has been a struggle to say the least. You’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I’m leaving the niche of running blogs. A few people have expressed their concern for the new blog and what parts of it they simply will not enjoy. That’s ok. This is completely new ground for all of us.

The amazing thing about blogging is that everybody has something different to say. Everybody has different interests. For each person who wants to only read running blogs, there is another person who wants to read beauty and health blogs.

I’ve worked incredibly hard on this new blog. I’ve poured blood sweat and tears into it. Seriously, I might of cried once or twice. The design and the layout and all of the crazy techie stuff that took DAYS of my life to complete was the hardest part. Knowing what to write and how I wanted to come across was not. That has always been there. I’ve just been waiting to branch out and build a pretty home for my thoughts.

This week I’ve created a twitter site for the blog (but currently Twitter is being a bit crabby about uploading my profile picture) and also a facebook fan page that I see a few of you have joined (you really like me?) and finally I’ve uploaded the last 5 posts and this one to the new blog. I know there’s some great (and not so great) stuff hidden in the archives of The Beginning Runner’s Blog and after some re-writes I’ll likely upload those as well.

Let me prep you a little before you go to the new site. I’m concerned for your tender little Blogger hearts. I’m afraid you’ll take one step into a wordpress self-hosted blog and immediately catch on fire, or worse, get confused and leave. The one thing you’re concerned about is how you will be able to find your way back, or more importantly, how you will be able to read new posts and be aware of new posts.

When viewing a Blogger/Blogspot blog for the first time, you come upon the landing page. Usually the landing page is simply, the most recent posts and some widgets on the sidebar. Great, now find the widget that has Google Friend Connect on it and hit the follow button. Now this person’s stuff will show up in your Google Reader and consequently on your Blogger Dashboard, correct?

I’ve made this really easy for you with my new blog. When you first visit the site, you will hit my landing page which is my homepage. You will see excerpts of posts but alas, not a full size post. This is just a dazzling little homepage to capture your attention. The real reading happens when you click on a title of a post you want to read (those are in pink.) and you will magically be taken to the land of reading. To the right is a side bar and you will notice a spot that says, “Subscribe!” and then you click to discover a whole bunch of ways to follow my blog. For you, the simplest will be to click the Google icon and then choose “Add to my Google Reader” and Wa-La!

So without further rambling, I will now introduce you to my new blog. Be gentle with her, she’s only a few minutes old. Don’t shake the baby! Ok, I’ll stop being ridiculous now and lead you to the promised land. Enjoy my sweets and stay tuned to it, although there’s nothing new there now, come Monday you will find some treats!

Don’t forget about that giveaway silly willys!

Facebook fan page & Learning Photoshop

2010-08-05T18:44:00.001-07:00

Well it took me all stinkin’ day but I finally set up a Facebook fan page for you all to “Like” and I imagine that later on I’ll streamline it with the new blog. So in the meantime, become a fan (I did!) and then you’ll be super-duper uber cool!

Uh, in other news, I have been dabbling around with Photoshop. Actually not THE Photoshop – which would set me back about a grand – but rather a free version of something more complicated. I downloaded GIMP and was immediately intimidated by it. Crikey!

After a little playing around (read: all fucking day!) I was able to create a masterpiece. My new promo picture for the blog. Here is the before picture, taken at a bachelorette party in May. As you can see there is chaos in the background, my nose is shiny and the sign says “Reserved” (which I thought was fitting for my married ass).

The newly edited photo is something to behold. I removed the clusterfuck that was happening in the background, smoothed out my skin, whitened my eyes and pinked up my lips (actually I over-did it all on purpose because I plan on adding an effect to the whole thing) and then of course I changed the writing on the sign. That font took me hours to figure out as it matches my blog font perfectly.

Let this be a reminder to you all: even an amateur can make a normal picture practically magazine worthy. Imagine what a professional could do with the real Photoshop. Every image you see in a magazine is tweaked nowadays and I just want you to be aware of that.

You better believe every picture you see of me from now on will be fake. I’m kidding.

Go join my facebook fan page and also, don’t forget about that little tweeter contest I’ve got going on until Monday! Free nailpolish ladies!

Snark Week Continues: Sweet Tweet Giveaway

2010-08-04T05:35:00.001-07:00

I know a lot of you that are “hip with the homies” follow me on twitter via my personal twat (I completely just said that.) @rachael_taylor and I think that is great. I probably follow (some of) you right back. Unless you’re creepy. Unless you post annoying shit 22 times an hour. Don’t do that, by the way, that’s a good way to get dropped.

Perhaps you don’t tweet. Perhaps you just don’t get it. That’s fine. You should, especially if you’re at all concerned about blogging and having quality readers that are interested in your blog and your passion in turn. I’ll cover twitter in depth one of these days on the new, sexier blog, but until then, all you have to do is follow my new twitter name. That name happens to be @snarktart and if you follow me, you will reap the rewards.

Of course, there isn’t a blog attached to that account yet because, well, I have yet to launch it silly girls (or guys, you have been warned.) but I need to get some followers on that little twitter account, and seeing as how it took me a full year to get only 120 followers on my personal account …

So, follow me on twitter and let me know in the comments that you did and what your twitter name is (called a “handle”) and you will receive one entry for doing just that.

Retweet the following and you will get an additional entry for each time you do it, unlimited (but don’t be annoying, remember, we talked about that)!

Follow @snarktart & get an entry for her @zoya_nailpolish giveaway! http://bit.ly/9XI9Wn her new blog Friday will be kickass! Retweet!

What and who is @zoya_nailpolish? Only the greatest nail polish company ever, and obviously one of my favorites. A winner will be randomly drawn from the entries I receive on Monday 10:00PM PST, next week and will be announced on the new blog (which means you’ll HAVE to follow it, right?) ….

So what do we get Rachael???

My undying love ain’t enough for ya then, eh? Well, you’ll get my two favorite colors from Zoya.com shipped directly from the company (so you know I didn’t just wrap up my half-used bottles…) as my personal gift to you.

America is the perfect basic red, and I can’t believe how much of this color I’ve used and Lo is an amazing bright pink, I get a million compliments when I wear this color. Zoya polish is high quality stuff. Never a chip too soon or dull sheen to hide your paws in shame at.

So get to twitterin’, twattering, twee-diddle dummin’ … and I’ll see you tomorrow with some exciting facebook news!

(by the way, you probably didn’t have to be a genius to figure out the name of the new blog …)

*Disclaimer: Zoya did not gift me these items nor are they sponsoring this giveaway, I'm using my own stinkin' money cause I love ya like that ...

When Life Punches You in the Face

2010-08-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to Snark Week, we interrupt our normally scheduled programming due to me getting punched in the face. Yeah, you read that right.

[photo credit]

I know what you’re all thinking. It’s about time SOMEBODY punched that needy, whiny bitch in the face. I completely agree.

I’ve never been hit in the face before. Or punched period. I never had abusive boyfriends (thank the good Lord for that …) and I’ve never been completely ridiculous (enough) in my young adult life to pick physical fights with people. I figured, if ever there was a day where I would experience what getting flat out socked in the eye felt like, it would come at the end of a night of uncharacteristically heavy drinking. I always pictured a drunk (she’s usually blonde, no offense to my fair-haired readers), skanky sorority girl getting a swing in after I likely opened my big fat mouth one too many times about her knock-off Fendi and flaky orange Insta-Tan.

Needless to say, that’s not how shit went down yesterday afternoon. I was at work and a frightened and confused patient didn’t want to have a thing to do with me. I’m certainly not blaming he or she for doing what they did. I consider things like that a (often rare) job hazard and luckily he/she did not do much damage to my orbit. In fact, a little redness, swelling and some puffiness this morning gave way to an easy cover-up 5 seconds ago, so I can return to my site of injury and deal with the madness again. No I’m kidding. I wouldn’t expect a situation like that to occur ever again in my career. Please note that I will likely eat my words in a years time.

Actually, this is the perfect opportunity to get back to the new blog and what it will and will not feature. I mentioned I would talk about “a little slice of my life” which is true. Although I’m making the switch from being a blogger for the readers rather then a blogger for myself (no judgments please and thank-you) I think it’s nearly impossible not to blog somewhat about your own life and the events that occur. I’m focusing more on mindcasting vs. lifecasting even though I’m aware some people just suck up the day to day lives of others. I personally get downright, fall on the floor B-O-R-E-D reading about daily ho-hum crap. No offense taken, right? I bet.

Again, I realize this will lose me some readers. A causality I’m willing to take in order to be happy with how I blog, what I blog and who I reach out to. You can’t please everyone all the time. With that being said, I’ve been told time and time again that what I do for a living makes for some interesting stories. Agreed, no arguments here, and I love telling those stories and getting the shocked reactions out of people, just as I’m sure you’re going to comment on this post today about that. With the whole fist to eye thing.

Although I rarely get asked about my “tales from the ER” and Grey’s Anatomy-style drama that ensues each day, when I do offer it up, people tend to salivate over it. I’ve been told it makes for great blogging. The problem is, as I’m sure you could understand, it’s completely illegal and risky for me to be talking about my job and the patients I take care of. It’s hard to be funny and forthcoming with what I say and not be concerned about a family member or supervisor reading my very public blog, twitter, facebook … etc, etc.

So all in all. I will not be blogging much about work, and if I do, it will be in shadowy veils of mystery. In the meantime, I’ve got to ice my peeper.

The “giveaway” I spoke of yesterday will be announced tomorrow, once we get back to our little Snark Week celebration!

A Better, Sexier Blog

2010-08-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Day 2 of Snark Week where I will describe to you, in gory detail, what this new blog will feature … and what it will not.

What I’m about to tell you will very likely cause panic, mayhem and looting in the streets, but it’s a truth that must be dealt with now. This sexy new blog is not penis friendly. And by that I mean, if you are a typical twig ‘n berries sort of human variety, you very likely will not find much appeal there.

[photo credit]

I’m certainly not going to be checking up under your skirts at the door and I’m in no way denying access to my blog if your manlier then most. You see, this blog will be geared towards many girlie pink sparkly things. I know it’s a stretch already for you men-folk to stare at this “Candy-Land threw up all over the site”-look The Beginning Runner’s Blog is currently sporting. This new blog will likely be irrelevant to you. I know this may lose me quite a few followers in the long run, but I’ve (almost) comes to terms with that and decided that what I can offer my female readers in greater than what I can to their counterparts. This doesn’t mean I want you to shy away completely men (but I know you likely will) because there will still be some running and fitness posts, along with cooking posts you may find enjoyable from time to time.

So what is this blog going to feature if not only running? I think now would be an awesome time to use a bulleted list, don’tcha think?

Fitness & Running
Recipes & Food for Healthy Living
Beauty & Make-up & Hair

complete with tutorials
product reviews
giveaways

A little fashion fashion & photography
A slice of my life

All wrapped up in a pretty little snarky package you all have come to know and love that is my fabulous writing style. So now that you’re aware of what you’re dealing with . . . are you game or going home?

See you tomorrow with the possibility of a giveaway . . . mmmmkay?

Snark Week: Pre-gaming

2010-08-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

After months and months of dangling it in front of your pretty little ~~snouts~~ faces, I’m almost ready to reveal my new blog to the world.

[copyright to Yahoo.com]

Since today commences Shark Week on The Discovery Channel – something I was alarmingly reminded of when logging into my yahoo mail account – I figured it was only appropriate to also use this week as a launch party. Yes, the whole week. Therefore, welcome to …

That’s right, as the new (secretly named) blog is being prepared for lift-off -- and while you’re enjoying the chum-filled week of chaos on your couch -- you can also enjoy pre-gaming for the big red-carpet party of the blog you’ve totally been waiting your entire life to experience … you will be given ample time to surround yourself in everything “snark” (hint hint!) this week only! Catch y’all tomorrow …

Do you Jamba?

2010-07-30T08:52:00.001-07:00

Throughout the health blog world, Jamba Juice is slaughtered for being the most un-healthy but seemly healthy joint around. I think the reason for the stoning is because they take what most people deem a “healthy” thing and they monster it.

Sure, a random Joe from the street, with absolutely no sense of right or wrong, with no knowledge of nutrition, may wind up walking out of there with an 800 calorie bomb he’s going to suck down in 5 minutes and probably consider a snack. However, your educated and smart individuals will hopefully seek out the healthier options, smaller sizes and ones with less sugar. Also, you may want to add a “protein boost” and consider it one of your meals for the day.

That’s exactly how I approach Jamba Juice. This ain’t no snack children. It’s likely my lunch or even my dinner. If you can’t handle that reality, then perhaps you do need to avoid the Juice.

I make a protein shake nearly every morning, and it usually doesn’t involve fruit (I’m THAT lazy) but yesterday I was craving the Jamba Juice. Being the self-proclaimed lazy ass I am (not to mention it was about 14 degrees too hot out there for me to venture into the wild) I pulled out my trusty Magic Bullet -- completely not the sex toy you’re imagining -- and attempted my own fruity smoothie.

Something about the combo of strawberries and over ripe blackberries turned it into what can only be described as a serious bloody mess.

Wanna know how to get a bunch of Twihards who also happen to be foodies to follow you on Twitter? Seriously I had to bat them off with my cyber stick …

Oh I almost forgot! Hello to all my new followers – 200! – and I hope you too will follow me over to my new blog next week. That’s right. NEXT WEEK!

Who am I kidding?

2010-07-21T09:03:00.001-07:00

I hate running. I think. Yet I continue to press on. Who knows why.
I guess I hate running immediately before the run and during the first, oh, 8/10th’s of the run itself. I love running after the fact. I love running when I don’t have to run. I love running when all I have to do is talk about running or think about how awesome running is. Don’t pretend you don’t feel the same way. What keeps us coming back? Seriously.
I’m wicked slow again. During training I worked so hard to get my pace down to something even reasonably acceptable and now I’m back to the whole “I’m a slow JOGGER” stage.
I’m back on Daily Mile as well, Greta the Garmin and I finally worked out our differences with her ANT stick (I can see where she was coming from, who wants to take orders from a damn stick?) and now we’ve discovered how to properly upload from Garmin Connect to DM.
I know I keep teasing you with this new blog, but really I am working on it. The logistics of a new, well managed blog is just mind boggling. It takes so much time to change the color of the font when you’re dealing with CSS. Yep, I’m actually building a blog from the ground up, no blogger templates here folks, this bitch means biz-nass.
Also, you may have noticed that I enabled “word verification” and comment approvals because I’m getting a lot of asian porn spam in my comments. I don’t know why, it may have something to do with the fact that I keep using the words “porn” and “spam” in my blog posts, I’m just sayin’. So if you think that maybe, just maybe, Rachael likes to look at big boobies in her spare time, go ahead and waste your time linking a million little dots to my post.

Like Sands Through The Hourglass …

2010-07-10T16:11:00.001-07:00

… these are the days of our lives.

I have been slowly progressing back into running. Of course it didn’t happen in a snap, let’s put it that way. I’m happy to report that if, as a beginning runner, you happen to, say … drop running completely for 3 months straight … that all is not lost. I mean, hypothetically and stuff.

I mean, I didn’t just take off like a lightening bolt (when have I ever?) and bust out 7 miles no problem-o but … I am not back at square-effing-one and thank goodness and grapes for that.

It’s weird how running at this time of year brings back so many memories from last summer. The smells, the heat, the humidity, the rotting dog poop. Really. Just pick up after your animal.

It makes me a tad tearful to remember last summer, not the dog crap, but the thought of running in Chico, back home. I have been missing Chico more and more these days. Mostly I fret over the loss of my friends and family and the familiar-ness of the city. I feel isolated and lonely up here if I don’t have my poor husband pinned down under my left thumb. I let him run off and play for the weekend in Chico while I attended a bridal shower for my favorite Redding running buddy J-Nizzle. Now I’m faced with an empty apartment again and the cat. I sat and stared at her for a bit to pass some time, but eventually even she developed a complex and wandered out of my sight.

Actually I’m using my freedom to work on my new blog, which by the way is not going to be blogger hosted. A few of you clever bunnies hunted out a version of the new babe that I started with blogger and tried to add it. Don’t worry, when the time comes, I will spam the shiz-nit out of this site, your blogs and everything it touches … er … well, maybe not quite. Don’t worry, I won’t let a single one of you slip through my fingers and get lost. I am Moses and you will follow me to a better land … just, you know, ignore the burning bush and stuff. We wax those now anyways.

Please do stick around …

2010-07-08T10:30:00.001-07:00

Although I’m sure it looks like I’ve completely neglected this blog, I can ‘asplain.

This probably hurts a little. I’m sure it feels an awful lot like abandonment. Don’t be upset, it isn’t you. In fact, mommy loves you very much. She’s working very hard at paying more attention to you by means of another blog.

I am running. It’s just not terribly significant, not enough to warrant a post. I’m working on quality over quantity with my postings. Also, I’m phasing out the use of this blog as I put the final touches on my new baby. I hope you follow me over there when the time comes. I am still avidly reading each of your blogs. Though my lack of comments and acknowledging your presence on my blog has been relatively non-existant, I keep up on my reader from my phone and so I do actually read everything you write. Promise.

Until then, chin up little ones. It will all be sunshineandrainbows soon enough!

I’ve Got a Feelin’

2010-06-20T20:25:00.001-07:00

I’m totally still alive.

It’s strange, but I simply CRAVE running when I can’t do a thing about it. For instance, today was my 5th twelve hour shift in a row. Working like this leaves little time for anything but sleep and food. Maybe laundry. I can’t help but get this twinge of desire to just effing RUN.

Yet. When I have endless days off (in a row even) and nothing to do but lay around and flip through magazines all day (ok, I have more to do then that, usually.) I find myself simply loathing the idea of running.

What gives? I just need to get back into the swing of things and find my running heart again.

Anyways, I just agreed to work tomorrow. Day six. There goes another day off. Another opportunity to run. There goes my flat tummy. Actually, it left a few weeks ago. Who am I kidding.

Luckily I’ve cleaned up my diet a bit. I’m now using un-sweetened soy milk with my protein shake in the morning, along with more fruit. I’m also making an honest effort to shove more veggies down my pie-hole. I just need to focus on drinking more water. I can’t believe how very little I truly drink. Tomorrow I’m making it a task to drink as much as possible. Until I pee certified Aquafina.

Here’s a picture of me and my dad dancing at my wedding 2 years ago. He’s crying. In ten seconds I’m going to reach down between my boobs and remove a crumpled up party napkin that I stashed there “just-in-case” and it in deed came in handy at that moment.

Hope everyone had a Happy Father’s Day!

What’s For Dinner Tonight: Spicy Chicken Swords

2010-06-11T09:35:00.001-07:00

Earlier this week I talked about my diet and asked for some advice on fixing it. If you haven’t yet, head back to that entry and give me some ideas. Next week I’m going to comply a few of them together and start formulating a diet plan out of it. Then we’ll be good little students and submit some more ideas to complete our little science project! Crap. Don’t run away from me, okay?

In light of all this talk of food, I thought I’d share one of my easy meal ideas with you. Folks, this is not really cooking. It’s more like one of my readers said: assembling. There, that’s exactly what I do, I assemble. I wonder if there is a special School of Assembly I can attend to obtain a degree in that fine art?

Pork swords (better known as sausage to those you who don’t think like a teenager) are great and all, but I’m not a huge fan of pork unless it’s in a bacon format. So I bought some chicken sausages from Trader Joes (please note, as mentioned before, I am an honorary employee of TJ’s as I am there so often) along with some asparagus and butternut squash. This recipe is not low fat. Not really.

Prep Time: 20 Minutes

Ingredients:

Spicy Sausage
Fresh Asparagus
Pre-cut butternut squash
1 TBS butter
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
1 TBS pine nuts or sliced almonds
1 minced clove of garlic
Olive Oil

This sausage is not for the faint of heart. It’s rich and smoky but completely ridiculously hot on your tongue. I sliced them length wise nearly in half, leaving about an inch attached along one side and then I did the most impressive thing ever. I handed them over to my husband in loving trust and let him throw them on the BBQ.

We have a 30 dollar berquet BBQ that takes eons to heat up, but when it does, I have to admit, the flavor is tri-fold to that of a gas grill. The hassle isn’t really worth it. We’re hoping for a gas grill later this summer. Just grill the swords to smoldering perfection as you prep the rest of the meal.

Take your asparagus and rinse gently and then pat dry. I have cooked asparagus many ways and really it just depends on what you feel like doing. I decided to simply steam them, so I clipped them into 3rds and tossed the bottom third. The bottom half of the stalk is stringy so usually you don’t want to cook it, let alone eat it. Occasionally I spread the stalks out on a cookie sheet and brush with Olive Oil and Salt and Pepper and roast them at 400 for about 18 minutes. It doesn’t matter how you cook it, it all leads to one thing: your pee will smell funny.

Steam them until they are bright green and tender to the touch. Don’t over cook them. Nobody likes a limp stalk.

Trader Joe’s has a ton of veggies in this manner. Neatly cut and packaged into a microwavable bag. Tonight I’ve fallen for their promise of laziness, but usually I just rip open the bag and cook it myself. So I clip the corner and pop it in the radioactive box for about 7 minutes.

Meanwhile I melt the TBS of butter in a pan on medium heat. I let it get a little bubbly and brown before adding the now soft butternut squash. Keep in mind, at this point, the squash is already cooked. You’re simply looking to brown it a bit and coat it with the yummy butter.

I’ve also added about a TBS of dry roasted unsalted sliced almonds. I like a little crunch with my squash and this does the trick. Also I’ve added the garlic. Theoretically you could add the garlic to the butter and brown it up a bit first, but I’m nutty about garlic and I could probably eat a clove whole, so yeah.

Plate it up! I add a little Parmesan cheese to the squash when I’m done. Those plates are from Cost Plus World Market, in case you’re wondering. I really only drink water with dinner, but if you’re looking for a good pairing, try beer instead of wine. Wine and spicy foods aren’t the best companions. A pilsner is usually best. Since it hails from this region and I grew up around this beer, Sierra Nevada’s Summerfest is a good option for your spicy meat sword . . .

Help Me Fix My Diet

2010-06-08T18:13:00.001-07:00

This is probably going to get me nowhere (see how much faith I have in you) but I’m calling out for help. No easy feat for me, by the way. I’m a chronic know-it-all and I hate getting advice, especially when it’s un-solicited. Well, here I am, asking for it. Seriously. Give me what you got.

Things you need to know about me and my lifestyle . . .

-At work, I’m on my feet all day for 12 hours straight (that picture is EXACTLY WHAT I LOOK LIKE AT WORK!), this takes a lot of energy so I usually am eating every 3 hours. Something small but significant.

-I don’t run everyday (duh.) and so I don’t need a ton of carbs and energy sources that I’m just not going to use

-I drink coffee with a bit of half ’n half in it EVERY EFFING DAY, don’t you dare take that away from me.

-I don’t drink alcohol but once in a blue moon

-I don’t have much time to prepare elaborate meals, especially on the days I work, so please keep that in mind before you go about telling me how to blanch kale and make my own tofu

-I primarily shop at Trader Joes, local health food stores and a few major chain grocery stores

So now you get to hear about what I eat everyday. Get so flipping excited. Whoa whoa. Not too excited. Don’t throw up or anything.

Breakfast

On the days I work I make a protein smoothie with the following ingredients:

Half a banana, 6 oz chocolate almond milk, a scoop of protein powder (100 calories and 18 grams of protein) and some frozen berries.

On the days I don’t work, oddly, I usually skip breakfast because I’m either sleeping in or I’m too busy being dumb.

Before work I grab a Grande Iced Americano with about 2-3 oz of half n half (less then 50 calories)

Mid-Morning Snack

A Greek yogurt (120 calories) with 1/2 cup of flax bran cereal mixed in (70 calories)

Lunch

Depends, lately I’ve been having a bagel thin thingy with peanut butter followed by an ounce of low fat cheese and an apple or something. Probably if I’m still feeling hungry I’ll grab something else (cottage cheese, soup, etc) from the cafeteria.

Mid-Afternoon Snack

A 230 calorie protein bar with an apple or a banana or something else of that nature (those are the exact bars I buy, in that exact flavor, they are the best I’ve ever tried).

Dinner

A meat of some sort, usually BBQ’d (chicken, steak or fish) with fresh veggies I’ve either roasted or steamed. Green beans, asparagus, zucchini and broccoli are all popular in this house. I’ve recently discovered butternut squash and sweet potatoes as delicious carbs, but sometimes I make brown rice or wheat pasta with dinner too.

Dessert

I’m not big on desserts most nights. Sometimes I have a scoop of non-fat tart fro-yo or some chocolate milk

So the big thing is, I’m in a rut. I need ideas that will stick and no, I don’t need recipes. I’m not a recipe kind of girl. I cook fine, but I’m big on making things simple and delicious. I’m not ready to commit to being vegan again, but some meatless options are welcomed. My husband eats just about anything I cook for him without much fuss.

Don’t you dare give me any of that, “to each her own” and “you have to find out what works for you” because I will be sorely disappointed in you. Here’s an idea: post what you typically eat in a day on your own blog, then come back here and tell me about it (link it or something). If you eat worse then me, or you think what you’ve got is boring, I’ve got news for you: what I just posted is what I eat pretty much every fucking day. No deviation. Except for when I hit the local taco joint or sushi restaurant.

So help a sister out and spoon some ideas into my fat face, I’m all ears, ass and high hopes for this. Kinda.

2 Years With My Best Friend

2010-06-07T22:39:00.001-07:00

I had a patient yesterday tell me a little something. Actually he told me a lotta somethings, most of which were completely ridiculous.

In the patient care world, one truth holds constant: we love to make fun of those laying helplessly, partially clothed, in a hospitial bed. Don't pretend you weren't aware of this. Life ain't all roses and sunshine folks. As much as I'm ashamed to say it: I totally fall into this trend. In a place most people hope to never visit and good people meet untimely ends, humor becomes the most enjoyable pill to swallow. A friend recently reminded me that a joke usually isn't funny unless it's at another's expense. Mostly true.

I'm getting somewhere with this. A man in a sorry state of life stole a lot of time from me yesterday. He couldn't shut up. I couldn't stop staring at the rotting brown mess in his mouth formally known as teeth. I mostly ignored the rubbish he was rambling on about until his attention turned to his chipper little wife. He said one simple thing that I've heard a million times and hold true in my own relationship with my husband, but never have I so profoundly realized the simple truth of it until I heard it from him. He looked right at her, in all her white trash glory, and said, "She's not just my wife. She's my best friend. She's all I have and I love her more each day then the last."

My mind flicked to my husband and our life together. Lately I've been a complete mope. I've spent most my time either working or hanging out with my friends and family in Chico, an hour away. Each weekend I have off from work I (we) travel down there and cherish the time with familar company in a familar town. As happy as I am when we're down there, it makes the loneliess days in Redding feel like an Animal Planet special on abused kittens. Yeah it hurts thatbad.

Jerry is my rock in this brave new world (Holy Drama Queen, slap me with a damn newspaper ...) and indeed: he is my best friend.

Two years ago on this day, 6-7-08, we got all snazzy and fancy-schmancy and stood on a golf course with a few choice words for each other: I Do.

For the love of my life and my very best friend: Thanks for the sex and doing the sometimes-dishes. Oh and supporting me in all I do and blah blah blah ...

Going for A RUN in the morning!

Glimmer of Hope

2010-06-03T18:27:00.001-07:00

That’s what I’m giving you by posting real quick. Letting you know that I’m still here. I do give a damn. Maybe this is my way of increasing my celebrity. The less you hear from me, the more rare I become and therefore the more valuable I will be. Right? I’m going to pretend I didn’t just FEEL a massive collective eye roll across America.

I have not run in many many moons. Here’s hoping I still know how. I keep telling myself, “Self, as soon as this hectic week is over, you can pick up the running again.” and then a short day off comes along and all I want to do is be lazy with my bad self. Bad self.

In a few short weeks I hope to completely makeover myself. Physically, mentally, spiritually and most importantly to you: cyber-lly.

Cyber-wise this means a new blog, a new facebook, a new twitter and a new voice. I’ll still be the snarky little tart you all know and love … but damn folks, I gots more to say then “Hey, I ran today. It was hard. I chased a squirrel and then I took a shit in the shape of a snowman” (thanks for that last one Dana, it is forever burned in my brain as something I probably might of said once).

So here’s where I ask for you’re help. I need some ideas on things you like to read OTHER then running. I want to know more about YOU as my readers. I need to know more about my audience. Most of you I follow and read your blogs actually (you probably don’t even know it because I’m a non-commenter) but I know that about a hundred of you LURK. Come on, de-lurk. Tell me who you are, what you like and by all means: what you don’t like. I’ve got thick ~~leathery~~ skin, I can take it.

Foto Friday: Getting Pretty

2010-05-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

Like I mentioned yesterday, I have been attending a few events lately that required me to strut my hot stuff. Actually, I just like being pretty for any occasion, not that it was required. I wear scrubs for half the week with my hair pulled back and minimal make-up. I wear workout clothes or my sweatpants (only when I’m at home!) the rest of my week, so if a special occasion arises, I go balls to the wall and make the best impression I can. Wouldn’t you?

This is my mom and I after a bridal shower for my best friend BJ, who you may remember ran the Almond Bowl 10K with me. I don’t know now if I truly like this dress much. It’s cute, it just fits me odd, in the chest really. It is what it is.

Then the next weekend was BJ’s bachelorette party. This is a dress that I added the belt to, they aren’t slacks or anything. I’ve never gone “one-shouldered” before, but there’s a first time for everything right? Well not EVERYTHING.

Finally this last weekend I attended another bridal shower, this one for Legs. Actually it was her second bridal shower, her first one happened a few months ago.

Um I completely heart this dress and I think I’m going to buy it in 3 other colors. Just because I can, since it was 15 dollars …

I’ve cut everyone out of these pictures (except my mom) for one reason, I’m not sure my friends are OK with me posting pictures of them on my blog. So there you have it. I’m sure you’ll see plenty more pictures in the weeks to come, hopefully I’ll be a tad more toned and tight by then. Hopefully, because cameras are EVERYWHERE these days and these things end up on facebook faster then a ga-zillion tons of oil heading to the wetlands. Sorry.

P.S. In case you don’t follow her (yeah right, EVERYONE FOLLOWS HER!) Beth is having an awesome “Choose You” Healthy Lifestyle Giveaway Giftbag on her blog Shut Up And Run!

Losing the Big V

2010-05-20T14:00:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in every girl’s life that she must finally conform to society and break some thin-skin. I was told that the moment can either go one of two ways: completely amazing and life changing … or oh-my-God-I’m-gonna-barf.

Frankly I don’t have the proper equipment to be dancing this dance. My blades aren’t sharp enough and my well is too narrow. Thanks to some movin’ groovin’ and shakin’ from my husband this morning, however, I lost my virginity. My Green Monster virginity.

Green Monsters are everywhere these days in blog-land. Health bloggers, food bloggers and even run-bloggers are getting behind this trend and taking it for a sweet ride. Sorry. Sex references are over.

Actually mine didn’t come out looking like a ground-up Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle … and luckily it didn’t taste like one either.

I’ve been blog stalking several foodie and health blogs now for a while, specifically this one and that girl has a GM every morning. It always looks tasty. I’ve been making a quick protein shake/smoothie for the hubby and I to share nearly every morning for breakfast but it was basically a “wham-bam-tank-ya-ma’am” kind of affair. Two scoops of whey protein (one for him, one for me) and then a banana and either water or almond milk. I’ll wait while your little eyelashes flutter back to awakening after that boring smoothie. Sometimes I’ll add some frozen berries, but it quickly has become apparent that my blender is a bitch.

In fact, a few months ago I got a hankerin’ for some piña coladas. Never mind the fact that it was a Thursday night and I was in my pajamas. I wanted a damn piña colada and I was getting one if it was the last thing I shoved in my face. Enter my blender and the disaster with ice cubes that occurred. It does not handle ice much better then my own teeth would. Now you’re curious as to what a-hole of a blender I have and how to know to avoid the purchase of such a disappointment. Enter The Black and Decker 5-Speed circa 2008 that Target no longer carries. It was a wedding registry gift, chosen simply because it matched all the other red kitchen appliances we had registered for. With it’s arrival I pushed my old Oster 5-speed at my friend, Legs, and beamed at my new shiny red toy. Last weekend I stayed at Legs’ house and after our workout she whipped up some protein smoothies and out comes the old Oster I gave her 2 years ago. It bashed those ice cubs and frozen berries up like a bull in a china shop. I’m happy to say that she got a newer Oster later that day at her bridal shower. I’m totally gonna be an Indian giver and steal mine back.

So this morning I really wanted to make a thick smoothie with ice and frozen things. I tried first to crush the ice, frozen strawberries, blueberries and a broken up frozen banana. I added a little vanilla almond milk to move things along. No dice.

Hubby sat and watched as I made a pouty face and got ready to dump the whole disaster down the drain. He picked the whole jar up and did a little Moroccan shake-up a-la martini style and proceeded to baby the device until a thick creamy concoction began to form. 10 hours later (ok, maybe 10 minutes and a scoop or two of protein powder) and we had a berry smoothie. I gave him half and sent him on his way. As soon as the coast was clear I pulled out the spinach and added two generous handfuls to the mix. Following his approach I shook it few times and wa-lah! Something only a mother could love. Or well, a freak like me and all of you.

I dove right in to my guacamole colored breakfast and surprise surprise, it didn’t taste like spinach at all. It tasted like yum.

Now the challenge: Convince my husband to drink it too. Ha.

Have you ever tried one of these? Do you have a better method or other things you like to add? What blender do you have and can I come over and borrow it every morning at 5am? Thanks.

Scout’s Honor

2010-05-20T09:07:00.001-07:00

I promise, from this moment forward to be a better blogger.

I promise to blog more often and to, most importantly, comment on other blogs more often. Especially if you leave a comment on my blog. I haven’t been commenting much on anyone’s blog these days and that’s because my new favorite way of keeping up with you all is to read the feed from my phone through an app. Try as I might, I can’t find an app that will let me leave comments. So, I’m reading, just not writing.

I have a lot of special “events” going on for the next few months, some of them have already occurred. In fact in the last month I’ve been to 3 bridal showers and a bachelorette party. Next weekend is a rehearsal dinner and wedding in which I am a bridesmaid. Two weekends later I’m looking at another bachelorette party followed quickly by another bridal shower of sorts for a completely different bride. Then another rehearsal dinner and wedding in which I’m another bridesmaid. Then I’m pretty sure my head explodes. And then another wedding to attend. None of this is occurring in Redding.

I’ve come to the conclusion that P90X alone is not enough for my fat little ass. I was bound and determined to only do the program and nothing else, if only to see what it alone could do for me. There isn’t enough cardio in the program for me. I’m a cardio whore. My body craves it and thrives off of it. I know that I’m still burning calories and obtaining lean muscle with the lifting. I know many many people lose incredible weight and inches with the program alone. Those people were not runners before. I side-lined my running essentially when I began the program and my body suffered. It freaked out. I used to be able to consume complex carbs without worrying a bit about it, my body used that energy to power through a run or to recharge after a run. It did not know what to do with it once I dropped my cardio down to 2 one-hour sessions a week. Two.

Now, there is a “Doubles” program in P90X that has you adding 3 one-hour sessions of cardio a week. I don’t have the time to do that kind of stuff and still stick with the regular program on top of all that. What I do have time for is a run on my days off. So that’s precisely what I’ll be doing. A run.

I can’t live without running. It makes me sad and fat. Simple truth.

¿Dónde Está mí Amor?

2010-05-14T11:04:00.001-07:00

Well I’m not in Mexico, that’s for sure. I wish I was perched on the edge of an infinity pool over looking the Baja waves … sigh.

I haven’t had the heart to blog much. I don’t have much to post about, being as this is a running blog and I have been doing ZERO running these days. You’d think my little runner’s heart would be breaking into a million pieces and that my tail would be wagging at every opportunity to get out there in this amazing weather. It’s not and I’m not. That what makes me a sometimes runner and most of you “addicts” haha. No really, I love running, but right now I’m just not feeling it.

I’m into Week 5 of P90X and I’m doing OK. When the “30 Day Results” came in, I was noticeably upset. I had gained about a pound (I know I know, muscle muscle muscle) and although my husband sings his praises about the appearance of my waist, I hadn’t lost a single inch. In fact I hadn’t lost any inches anywhere. I had managed to GAIN an inch in each thigh. Oh perfect. That’s just what I wanted. I had fatty thick KFC Double-Down thighs to begin with, let’s add an entire inch to their meaty existence! To top it all off, we took the before and after pictures all over again and not a single thing has changed with me except this: my boobs have shrunk, considerably. I’m ok with it, but that’s not really my concern.

Now my husband is another story. He lost 5 pounds. He lost 2.5 inches from his waist and his before and after pictures (obviously) are showing a difference. Let’s all do a little happy dance for the husband. And then shoot him in the head please. Jerk.

I’m eating okay as well, before you ask. Most days I eat myself into a healthy coma practically. I have slips (or binges maybe) and then I’m back to eating my greek yogurts and green beans (not together mind you.) and I’m really into drinking my coffee without any cream or sugar. A grande iced Americano does the trick. Really with coffee it’s always been about the jolt, not the treat. I’m not one of those people that goes to the Bux or somewhere else and orders what they think is coffee but is really 1200 calories of dessert through a straw. That’s not coffee, that’s ew. I would say the only thing dreamy creamy I ever order nowadays is a chai iced tea (non-fat or soy) and that’s really a treat too. It’s not terribly high in calories actually, but it does nothing for me in the caffeine department. If I’m going to pay good money for coffee, it’d better be practically medicinal in quality.

Finally, I’ll summarize this snore-fest by telling you something exciting. I’m working on a new blog that isn’t solely about running. I know, some of you are frowning, some are excited. Running will be a part because running is still a part of me. I want to run a few more Half Marys this fall so I’ll be back at my training in no time, as soon as this macho P90X thing I’m doing is over with in July. Then maybe I can stop waking up to pain in my … EVERYTHING.

Magic Monday & A Happy (Late) Mo-Day

2010-05-10T16:15:00.001-07:00

Actually it wasn’t magical at all, unless you consider all the research I’ve been doing for a new project. In the midst of all my busy work, I almost forgot to wish all the mom’s a happy day YESTERDAY. So, after the fact, I’d like to say: Please don’t ever become this mom … but if you do, make sure your son is super savvy at video editing.

Wow.

Another Dirty Day

2010-05-07T14:47:00.001-07:00

There are those days. You know them. You eat basically nothing but calorie laden, high fat and nutrient absent foods. Foods that take 5 seconds to open the bag and start shoveling. You sloth around the house doing nothing productive by any means, except for maybe going to the bathroom or picking that pimple on your forehead for the 7th time. You’re still wearing your husband’s sweatpants that you wore to bed and your covered in cat fur because that’s exactly what you’ve done all day. Cuddle with the cat and watch a damn movie.

What do you mean you don’t have those days? Oh that’s right, you people have normal jobs. You don’t get random days off each and every week. And if you did, you’d be super excited and cram your day off full of exciting and productive things. Not me. I sloth. I put off doing much of anything. Usually I’ll squeeze a run in. Not today of course, I’m just saying, usually. Sometimes a load of laundry will be done, just one load. Sometimes not.

When all is said and done, you feel like an ass for hiding inside the house all day and being a hermit and completely making your life the most boring in the whole entire world. I don’t know how I can go from doing exciting things all day at work to being the person you want to stab in the eyeball with a rusty nail just to put them out of their misery.

Possibly this whole day started out with a mean little trip on the scale. That bastard. He’d better still be in counseling for lying. I was just not happy with what he told me this morning. You’ve got to be kidding me. Nearly 4 weeks of P90X and fairly good improvement on my eating habits and I get this! Husband says he doesn’t believe it and that I look like I’ve lost weight. Great. Well, still. I’m a slave to that scale and a numbers whore and I’m pissed. So I shoved my pie-hole and ate my feelings. Nice.

I have a few workouts planned for later today. Right now, I have to go take my bloated ass shopping for a new dress. That should be fun.

Sorry to be all Negative Nancy on you today, but suffice to say, I’m my most verbal and creative when I’m feeling dark, dirty and (frankly right now) greasy.

Phone Post: Stupid Normal Girl

2010-04-29T09:20:00.001-07:00

Although I'm attached to this 600 dollar hunk of microchips I sometimes refer to only as, "my life" but also goes by the name "phone" ... I loathe posting from it. I'm an Olympic champion at texting and using the keyboard efficently (Google it. I am. Page 117 ... you'll find it by Tuesday) I still don't like doing it. I think it holds back my natural writing skills. Like it disables my magical powers or something. A virtual removal of my hypothetical super powerful third nipple (remember that Friends episode?) and thereby rendering me boring and stuffy. Also, illiterate.
Alas, I'm at work today and I feel safer using my phone to post then a company computer or a mobile tablet. I'm pretty sure they can see where you go and what you do and when you pick your nose. Frightening and since I sorta like my job (who are we kidding, I love it actually) I will just have to surrender my super human snarky powers to the iPhone. You win this time little man.
I feel like a PG&E pole scaler today. I have gadgets hanging off of me in every crevace. Well not *every* crack, but fold, yes. Two beepers (one under my shirt on my hip for a "Rapid Response" & my regular beeper for communication) a SpectraLink phone in case a beeper blaring on my hip wasn't enough (if you've ever seen these phones, then you'll know they resemble the first cell phones Nokia ever made, beefy at best) and a pulse oximeter dangling around my neck. Let's not forget my pockets shoved full of saline "bullets", pens, tape and scissors. I couldn't look skinny in my scrubs if I tried.

I spent the first half of this week depressed over my weight. I was angry that I looked flabby and frumpy in all my clothes and I did the exact opposite of excercise to deal. I shoved my face with an entire bag of mint milano cookies on Tuesday. Followed by half a bag of shredded cheddar. Go me.

Then my friend Diddle posted a little something on her blog about weight and I re-read it twice. It made me feel better and before I knew it I was back to feeling my normal self. I'm not obese, I'm not unhealthy. The only thing unhealthy about me is my body image. I need to realize that I'm so darn normal that it's sick I continually focus on something hardly anyone sees. I want to get back to running for fun and fitness. This P90X stuff is great and all but I can't solidify it as a be all cure all. It'll help me get fit, toned and more healthy. If I lose weight with it, great. I just don't want to become so focused on myself that I lose sight of other things in life. Friends, family and work. That would be more depressing then a bigger waistline.

Whoa. Something is a-vibratin' on my hip.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Questions about Blogging + Me as a Blogger

2010-04-26T12:14:00.001-07:00

How’s that for a title. Nice and straight forward.

Wordpress vs. Blogger … what’s your opinion? I, amongst many of you, seem to use Blogger. The interface appears more user friendly, but that’s exactly what I said 2 years ago when I complained that Facebook was more confusing then Myspace. All it took was a little playing around and getting used to. I set up a Wordpress blog (for shits n’ giggles at this point) but I’m finding a few things I like about it. So pitch them to me.
Other then running, what sorts of things do you like to read blog posts on? Not just from me, but in general, what other avenues do you find yourself traveling down often?
Do you officially follow most blogs (by means of an RSS feed) or do you do it some other way? Also I’m not sure how that works with Wordpress. I know I follow Wordpress blogs with my Dashboard feed (which I guess is my Google Reader?)
Getting more personal now. What about this blog or me, keeps you coming back? Is it just about the running?
If you had one word to describe me and my writing and this blog, etc, what would it be? Ok, more then one word is ok, but a descriptive word would be best.

I’ll leave you with those 5 questions today and you can answer in number form too. That’s what makes me happy, lists.

It was nice and warm all weekend. I totally didn’t run. At all. I haven’t been running much these past few weeks. P90X takes a lot of energy and time out of my day. That’s one warning I will heed to any runners out there considering it. I’m not training for anything so it’s not a huge deal. We finished week 2 up last night and so far I’ve noticed a flatter tummy, which is great because I was getting pretty jiggly in the middly.

Additional Tips and Tricks for Beginning Running

2010-04-24T19:10:00.001-07:00

Nearly everyone agrees, one of the first steps to a successful beginning running attempt are amazing shoes. Notice, once again, the emphasis on AMAZING and not “Eh, these will do” …

These are my current kicks and they were about $115 or so. Your shoes should last you about 500-600 miles and even novice runners like myself can distinctly tell when their shoes aren’t playing as nicely as they used to. Those are Nike Air Structure Triax 13’s and they are most definitely a Stability shoe, to keep my effed up little feet from over-pronating to the point of pain. Allie from That Girl is a Running Fool! also would like you to get good socks, and I second that. For whatever reason, people have fallen under the delusion that plain old cotton is some amazingly comfortable fiber. Sure, if you’re going to be laying around the house in sweatpants and a tee shirt all day. Feet sweat, even my dainty little piggies. Cotton doesn’t wick and it doesn’t hold it’s shape. Before you know it, you’ll have blisters and things sliding and bunching up and then your whole universe will collapse. So back away from the Hanes ten pack deal at Target and go for a little more pricey pair from a sports store ($8-15 a pair). One pair will do. I wear mine twice before I wash them. Really, who is getting that close to my feet to smell them while I’m running? Somebody who will get kicked in the face. Brands to try: Balega (I wear these, the Athlete X in small, in case you were thinking of getting me a late birthday gift.), Thorlo, DryMax and I’m sure somebody will comment under here with more sock shout-outs, WON’T THEY?

My favorite pair, and my silver skin.

Many suggested signing up for a race, even before you are able to run or walk half that distance. The plan I posted yesterday gets you all the way to a 10K. That’s 6.2 miles. No way when I started did I ever imagine I could walk that far, let alone sustain a running pace. There’s nothing more encouraging then knowing you have some place to be and something to do and you’d better show up for it and do it right. Even better, brag about the upcoming race to everyone you cross paths with. Not only will you impress the pants off them, but then you’ll have something to live up to. Can’t back down now, right? Becky of Limping to the Finish even went as far as signing up for a charity race and got her family and friends to donate to her cause, “The threat of humiliation was enough to keep me running!”

Looking goofy as all get-up after my first 10K that I trained 13 weeks to accomplish

The next most commonly suggested tip was to journal or blog about your running. This I completely agree with. As I got more into blogging and reading other running blogs, I became more inspired. I learned about the sport from other people just like me. I became obsessed with posting about every attempt I made at running. Every small gain, I posted about. If I ran for 20 minutes rather then 15, I was on here posting about it. I commented on other people’s blogs and gained friends in this community that cheered me on and rooted for me. I had people to impress, to encourage and to listen to and let listen to me and there is nothing more empowering than that. My husband will only let me chatter on about running for so many minutes before he gets that glazed over chicken-in-a-fry-pan look. You gotta give him cred though. Although he’s not like some friends and family members that make odd comments when I say things like, “My quads are so sore I can’t sit on the toilet properly. Ever.” Usually I get a look like I’m sporting a straight-jacket and something along the lines of, “Well, if it hurts, maybe you should stop for awhile …” or my personal favorite, “Running is so hard on your knees, it’s not really all that good for you …” Only runners understand that a little pain is a little gain. A lot of pain is bad though, please keep that in mind. The kind of pain that doesn’t go away or gets worse with each run, that needs special attention, so please don’t ignore every pain.

Oh wait, back to journaling and keeping track of stuff. Corey from Running Confessional (she’s so darn cute and funny!) mentioned one of my favorite sites, Dailymile.com and I’m thankful she reminded me. I don’t use it as much as I should, which means my mileage for the year is way off (Greta has it down though, so don’t fret) but this is another social networking site that let’s you input your mileage and time values for each run (and how you felt, etc etc.) and then you’re friends can comment and encourage you on. It’s helpful to see things broken down for me and also track the mileage on my shoes.

For injuries, Star Rockers of Running High suggested using a foam roller after each run. I’ve never used a foam roller but I’ve heard great things about them and she believes they go further then plain ol’ stretching, which a lot of people suggested as well. There’s a lot of debate out there with stretching. I say, stretch a little before the run (very little) doing some ballistic and static stretching. About a mile into a run (or 10 minutes) pull over and do some more stretching now that your warm and you can feel where you’re the stiffest. (That’s what she said! Sorry. It’s like word vomit, I say it at the most inappropriate times. Sorry to the hospital administrators for that one the other day in ICU rounds.) After your run do some deeper stretching. Not only will you look super cool and sexy, but you’ll be able to move 6 hours later.

I can’t think of a more effective stretch than this. Kidding.

Finally, my dear friend Kerry (don’t you just LURVE the song on her page?) had a valid point. Get a good sports bra (if you are female and have a cup size of anything larger then negative A.) because, well. Because. This picture of Katie Holmes from the NYC Marathon a few years back, is enough to scare the shit out of any woman. She’ll be bashing her knees into those 7 years from now.

Once again, I’ll ask you dear readers, do we have more tips to offer those newbie runners out there? I’m finding a lot more people are curious about how to start all of this up and that it seems overwhelming at first. It’s not!

Get some shoes. Find a little time and a little road (or rubber, if that’s your crazy pill.) and follow a decent and slow-starting plan. You’ll learn day by day for yourself.

Lord, the image of her nipples jostling around up there is going to haunt me for life. Sorry.

Eff it Friday

2010-04-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

Did you know that you actually have to PAY those utility bills that arrive each month???

I had an awesome post set up in my LiveWriter with quotes, tips and commentary from all of my awesome readers on beginning running. I even had some cute pictures of myself (yup, I'm THAT vapid and shallow) to go along with it. I also had a Virtual Hafathon race report that is just brillant. Brillantly sitting on my vagabond computer, cut off from all communication with the World Wide Web.

Luckily niether my husband or I neglect to pay our outrageous cell phone bills, so Mr. Jack the iPhone to the rescue. Hubby is feverishly working to restore my Internet connection before something terrible happens. Like my right tit falls off or my head explodes. This is the Internet we're talking about here. Without it I'm doomed.

So until then, accept my apologies for not finishing up my blogging last night and pre-posting everything before my world unknowingly came crashing down around me.

The Beginning Runner’s 13-Week 10K Plan (Reposted)

2010-04-22T07:00:00.000-07:00

I originally posted this on November 24, 2009 and this plan is adapted from the book The Beginning Runner’s Handbook, a popular book that I highly recommend. This plan is a little different than what is found in the book and is actually pulled from the companion to the book, The Beginning Runner’s Journal.

As many suggested yesterday, start SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW. That’s precisely what this plan does. Stupid slow. Like, “oh hey Granny … sorry to get in your way, please pass on my left …”

However, this is no time for your ego and your pride to get in your way. Have I mentioned the shin splints? Evil. So follow this plan, don’t do the 3 sessions all at once. Space them out through your week and maybe do some cross training on your off-days. By cross training I mean: biking, swimming even yoga. I don’t consider Olympic chip dipping a sport yet, but … you could go that route if you want.

Although I said I would post all the comments and tips from yesterday on this post today, I lied. Actually, I got some really good ones and I want to take the time to break them down and credit those of you that commented. If you have more advice, comment under this post or that post or any post and I’ll put all your advice into a post tomorrow. Lemme say post one more time.

Finally, before I leave you with the almighty running schedule, I have to give a shout out to one of my best friends’ baby, Lorelei, who is in the running for The Cutest Baby in NorCal or something from a local radio station. She’s up against some pretty stiff competition. She’s cuter then all of the other babies, so that’s not the problem, but the parents of the other, ugly babies, have figured out a way to rig the system and cheat by voting more then once a day. Parents ... I swear. So she’s asked me to tap my resources (that would be you, you resources you.) and have you vote for her. You can find the contest on this page and Lorelei is the very first baby listed. Give ‘er a 10 and if you have the time, give the other higher rated babes a 1. Sounds terrible I know, but cheaters must die and their children must suffer.

Without further a-do …

Week 1
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Session 1 (35 minutes) Run 30 seconds. Walk 4 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 7 times.
Session 2 (40 minutes) Run 30 seconds. Walk 4 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 8 times.
Session 3 (40 minutes) Run 30 seconds. Walk 4 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 8 times.

Week 2
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Session 1 (45 minutes) Run 1 minute. Walk 4 minutes. Do this 9 times.
Session 2 (40 minutes) Run 1 minute. Walk 4 minutes. Do this 8 times.
Session 3 (40 minutes) Run 1 minute. Walk 4 minutes. Do this 8 times.

Week 3
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Session 1 (50 minutes) Run 1 minute and 30 seconds. Walk 3 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 10 times.
Session 2 (40 minutes) Run 1 minute and 30 seconds. Walk 3 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 8 times.
Session 3 (50 minutes) Run 1 minute and 30 seconds. Walk 3 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 10 times.

Week 4
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Session 1 (55 minutes) Run 2 minutes. Walk 3 minutes. Do this 11 times.
Session 2 (45 minutes) Run 2 minutes. Walk 3 minutes. Do this 9 times.
Session 3 (50 minutes) Run 2 minutes. Walk 3 minutes. Do this 10 times.

Week 5
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Session 1 (60 minutes) Run 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Walk 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 12 times.
Session 2 (50 minutes) Run 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Walk 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 10 times.
Session 3 (50 minutes) Run 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Walk 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Do this 10 times.

Week 6
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Session 1 (65 minutes) Run 3 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 13 times.
Session 2 (50 minutes) Run 3 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 10 times.
Session 3 (55 minutes) Run 3 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 11 times.

Week 7
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Session 1 (60 minutes) Run 4 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 10 times.
Session 2 (54 minutes) Run 4 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 9 times.
Session 3 (54 minutes) Run 4 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 9 times.

Week 8
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Session 1 (60 minutes) Run 5 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 10 times.
Session 2 (48 minutes) Run 5 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 8 times.
Session 3 (54 minutes) Run 5 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 9 times.

Week 9
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Session 1 (63 minutes) Run 7 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 7 times.
Session 2 (54 minutes) Run 7 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 6 times.
Session 3 (50 minutes) Run 7 minutes. Walk 2 minutes. Do this 5 times.

Week 10
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Session 1 (44 minutes) Run 10 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Do this 4 times.
Session 2 (41 minutes) Run 20 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 20 minutes.
Session 3 (45 minutes) Run 22 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 22 minutes.

Week 11
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Session 1 (51 minutes) Run 25 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 25 minutes.
Session 2 (56 minutes) Run 30 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 25 minutes.
Session 3 (51 minutes) Run 40 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 10 minutes.

Week 12
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Session 1 (66 minutes) Run 45 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 20 minutes.
Session 2 (66 minutes) Run 50 minutes. Walk 1 minute. Run 15 minutes.
Session 3 (45 minutes) Run 45 minutes.

Week 13
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Session 1 (50 minutes) Run 50 minutes.
Session 2 (40 minutes) Run 40 minutes.
Session 3 (60 minutes) Complete your first 10-k event (if this is your goal) or run 60 minutes.

See you tomorrow for the tips and comments post post post post post.

Workout Wednesday: Becoming a Runner

2010-04-21T07:00:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends asked me the other day if I had any tips on getting into running. Come to think of it, a lot of people ask me this question and I think I know why. I wasn’t always a runner, and probably appeared to most: the furthest thing from ever becoming a runner. Now however, I’m labeled as a “runner” by most of my friends, family and co-workers. Contrary to the title of my blog, I’m not really a “beginning runner” anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I have millions of things to learn and try and do, but I’m past the stage of “newbie” and therefore I think people look to me for answers. I have come from back from the other side with knowledge and answers. I am mighty. I am wise. I am, for lack of a better term, full of shit. Heck, you knew that already.

I realized that I didn’t have a solid post about how it’s done and the best tips I have on starting from ground zero. The desire to become a runner is the key ingredient, I’ll let you in on that little secret first. There are many people out there that just want to lose weight and have heard from everyone and their Uncle Bobby that running is the best way to go about that. True. Running has the potential to slim you, quicker then most other exercises, but being a runner takes love and faith and all that other gooshy crap, so be honest with yourself. If the thought of running 5 miles a day scares the shit out of you, you may not be ready and in the right frame of mind. I don’t want to discourage you though. Who knows, you might actually LIKE running in the rain and the cold for miles and miles and hours and hours. Me and the rest of us runners do. I have yet to get a certified Crazy diagnosis from anyone holding a medical degree, so … let’s move forward.

First and foremost, check with your physician (or dentist or pool guy) and ensure that you are physically fit enough to start a running program, beginning or not.

Before you even start, spend some money. I’m not kidding. Expect to spend between $80-$150 on an excellent pair of running shoes. Notice I didn’t say: decent, acceptable, good or “this will do for now”. I said excellent. If nothing else, the shoes you wear, especially as a beginner are so important that if you’re just going to brush it off, then you don’t deserve to be a runner. Those are your freaking feet we’re talking about. What the eff do you think you run with? It’s not your ears so don’t you go buy an iPod instead of those damn shoes.

To find a good pair of shoes, you needn’t go down to the local Kohl’s and pick a pair that have pretty colors or an online dealer where they will claim to find the right shoe for your foot that computer program has never seen. Are you kidding me? Would you do that for your wedding dress or a pair of contacts? No. You go find a damn expert and let them figure your foot out for you. Feet are complicated. Your body is complicated. Everyone is different and if you don’t want to fail out 2 weeks into a basic program, you’re going to need to get some professional help. There are plenty of chain running stores that do this nowadays. The two that come to mind for me are Fleet Feet and Roadrunner Sports. The most important thing to look for is for someone to analyze your gait and the way your foot rolls during action. That means they need a treadmill in that store, preferably with a camera so they can toss you on that and watch you do your thing. Sound scary? So does shin splints, plantar fasciitis and hip sprains. Again, if you can’t afford this or you think those New Balances you used for high school P.E. will cut it, then back the eff out now and save yourself the embarrassment and dismay.

Other equipment you may want, but is not completely necessary at this stage could include a good digital watch or even a device for mileage. For the program I’m going to post next week, you’ll want something to count time on, mileage comes later, once you’re fit enough to maintain physical activity for an hour at a time.

You may be one of those people that can stand treadmill-running, but if your actually not insane, you’d be better off finding a park with a paved trail that maybe loops around a few times. Sidewalks along streets are OK too as long as there aren’t too many traffic lights involved and you feel safe. This might just be a personal preference, but I burn out quickly and stop having fun with it when I’m stuck on a treadmill staring at the same thing for more then 20 minutes. I’m serious. 20 minutes is my max on a treadmill. I’d much rather be outside, even if it’s 19 degrees, snowing or worse: smoldering hot.

Ok, now that you have the shoes and the place you’re going to run picked out, all you need is a beginner’s program to get you started and a little bit of time. Find a block of time 3 days a week to complete about 35-60 minutes worth of running/walking. Include a “rest day” in-between each “run day”. When I first started, I figured that the more I ran than suggested, the better off I would be. Shin splints are painful and heartbreaking. Ask me how I know.

Tomorrow I will re-post the 13-week plan I used to get me running for 60 minutes solid, or about 6.2 miles (that’s a 10k!) and continue on with my commentary about how to become a runner from the ground up.

Does anyone have any additional tips that I’ve missed or would like to elaborate? Email me your ideas rachaelannetaylor [at] yahoo.com or leave them in the comments and I’ll re-post them tomorrow as well!

Music Monday: WHAT THE DUCK!

2010-04-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

Pull your gaping mouth shut, yes, I’ve finally decided to write a MM post. Be grateful.

I don’t actually listen to music anymore while running. I’m too afraid I’m going to go Chelsea King style (Too soon? Yeah I thought so too, but I said it none the less.) and get pulled off the trail while I’m not paying attention by a 7 time child molester the California justice system let slip through their huge effing holes. Never mind the fact that I’m not a child, if you’ve heard my voice in real life or seen how short I really am, you’d understand. I get carded for buying nail polish.

Still, many of you are attached to your iPods to the point I’m wondering if you share an equal blood supply (I do with my iPhone, so don’t fret.) and therefore I decided to be a nice girl (big step for me here) and post a few of my favorite new finds. I simply am not running to these (they keep me company at the gym, for instance if I happen to fall and hit my head and then decide suddenly that running on the treadmill would be fun, because that’s the only way I’d ever come to that conclusion: head injury.) or if I’m trying to feel like a hottie in my Honda, I’ll use my stock sound system to bump these beats. Totally sexy, I know.

No theme here, just some random finds.

I Made It – Cash Money Heroes (been hearing this one on the radio, it’s good stuff)
Winner – Jamie Foxx (heard this first last night, features my other husband, Justin)
Say Aha – Santigold (who knows where I find these songs, I just tag them on Shazam from my phone when I’m watching TV or out and about and then 2 months later I iTunes them and can’t remember where I found it from!)
Meddle – Little Boots (pretty hot)
Billionaire – Travie Mccoy (this song was ridiculous to me at first, but then I found myself singing it and laughing at the same time, I love it!)
I’m Awesome – Spose (this song is stupid. Really. But it makes me laugh and to top it off, my husband thinks it’s the best thing since nooner-sex, so therefore I laugh even harder when my white-boy other-half raps along with this goober)
Trouble – P!nk (I really don’t like this chick, but sometimes I cave when I song makes me move.)
Feel It – Three 6 Mafia (Meh. Just ok. But sometimes all you need are a few new songs to get you moving.)
How You Like Me Now – The Heavy (from that Kia commerical with the life sized sock-monkey and the giant orange dildo? No? Well ok then.)
Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked – Cage the Elephant (I feel like I’ve heard this somewhere familiar. Enlighten me.)

Foto Friday: The Squirrel Video

2010-04-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, after feeling down on myself about the Yellow Bikini incident, I decided to shut up and just go for a run. The sun was shining and the temperature was about 65* so who am I to sit inside all day feeling sorry for myself while I suck down ANOTHA Cadbury egg. Oh and for the record, I really do appreciate them (cough*Morgan*cough), I just wish I didn’t have the tendency to consume 4 in one day.

Last week, J-Nizz and I ran at the McConnell Foundation’s Lema Ranch. This is an enormous piece of land in East Redding and there are miles of walking trials. Oddly enough, they prohibit dogs and bikes. Strictly for walkers and runners. I saw them (them being the ever present ranch-hands that drive around on little gas powered vehicle things) hunt down a couple on some bikes yesterday. He made them walk them all the way back to the parking lot while he putted behind them. The whole way. He then sat and watched as they locked up those big dangerous nasty bicycles. Um, yeah.

Yesterday I decided that I would take my camera along and see if I couldn’t get some pictures of how amazingly beautiful this place is. I forgot Greta at home and there aren’t mile markers on the trails. Instead they have specific loops and upon following two separate loops, I was able to complete 4 miles exactly. Sorta. I think my furry pacer led my awry towards the end.

I’m desperately in need of more warm weather running clothes. I have about 3 tank tops (in not so normal colors: bright red, hot pink and this spearmint number from the Half Mary) and I have 3 pairs of shorts (black, black with a teeny bit of pink and these bubble gum babies). Looking like a box of Nerds is never my intention, and yet, this is what I not only ran in yesterday, but also what I wore to Subway and to Trader Joes. Yep.

It’s already getting smoggy, and although you can’t tell, Mt. Shasta is not the pristine white color I’ve come to know this whole winter. It looks rather dusty and gross instead.

Awwww. Look at the pretty plump geese. Don’t ever turn your back on these mo-fos. Sure as ever, these Christmas Dinners will chase you and bite you fa-shizzle. They are far too domesticated and used to human beings. You run by them on the path and they don’t even budge. I even passed 3 of them sleeping on the path itself yesterday and rather then jump up and scamper away, they threatened me and honked and nipped at my ankles as I ran past them. Um, I will kick one if it actually bites me. Sorry PETA, but those things belong on my plate or sitting pretty in a pond. Not on my running path.

So in the very last quarter mile I came upon a grey squirrel in the middle of the path. I thought he was cute and so I tried to take a picture of him, sure as ever he ran off.

So I continued forward, thinking he would just dodge me and run up a nearby tree (BECAUSE LET’S FACE IT, THERE WERE 20 MILLION TREES ON THE PATH, HIS OPTIONS WEREN’T LIMITED) and as I advanced forward he kept right on following the path running a few paces ahead of me. He’d stop, look back at me, zig and zag but he’d continue following the damn man-made path. What kind of retarded squirrels are we breeding up here?

Remember when I lived in Chico, I was fearful for my life because of the squirrels down there? I had one throw a nut at my face, hundreds of them littered the forest making eerie little noises when I was running (plotting my demise) and finally, I’m completely convinced this is true: the head master squirrel (the Hitler of Squirrel-ville we’ll say) planted a giant acorn right into the path of my shoe and caused the most horrible spill on asphalt ever. My knee cap will never look the same.

So, being the opportunistic runner that I am, I decided that being paced by a squirrel was just about the coolest or the dumbest thing ever. I also have a movie function on my camera. So here’s your chance to hear me breathing like a hooker on a hot Friday night and might I warn you, if The Blair Witch project made you motion sick, this is no different. Except I left out the part where I turn the camera on myself and sniffle snot and cry into it about how scared I am. We’ll save that for next time. Oh and if anything, listen to the last 10 seconds. I sad that little Terminator 2 line and then turned off the camera and turned around to see a woman standing there staring at me like I had just picked a wedgie or something.

I got home feeling pleased as punch with myself and then the hubby and I tore into another P90X workout: Shoulders and Arms followed by another AbRipper X. It wasn’t so bad, except for the fact that my entire body feels like it’s going to explode. No biggie.

But hey, can we just comment on how ridiculous these bananas are?! Black men everywhere just died a little inside.

Teeny Tiny Yellow Bikini

2010-04-15T12:27:00.001-07:00

Last night, my husband and I dressed down and took dirty naughty pictures of each other. And then I cried.

Ok, so that didn’t have the happy ending you were probably hoping for, did it? Sorry.

Part of the ritual of doing P90X is to taking your before photos. I know I mentioned the other day that I had already done this part and that I wasn’t sharing the photos with you just yet. Only part of that was a lie. I’m still not sharing the photos with you. Yet.

See, I thought I had lost a lot of weight with this running, ~~training for a half marathon~~ kinda training for a half marathon and eating better. Remember way back when (or like 2 months ago) I showed you pictures of my tummy? It never got better from there, and in fact it got vehemently worse. With no core work and a very sharp reduction in mileage, I began to slide of the weight loss wagon. Like I mentioned yesterday, I gained like 3 or 4 pounds. Big flippin’ deal right? It appears however that it was all in my waist. All 4 pounds, BLAM-O, on my hips and waist.

I bought this cute little yellow bikini from Target the other day with the hopes of taking my before pictures in it. The whole point of doing this P90X stuff was to tone the thin(ish) body I already have. Somewhere amongst all my planning, I got puffy again.

Those pictures were about the biggest slap in the face I’d ever received. Especially the front on picture. Smack in my face, hello. You’re fat.

I was under the impression that it wasn’t THAT bad. That I could probably wear that little yellow bikini and be okay with myself as I currently stand. Uh, no. I mean, I noticed my pants getting tighter, but I didn’t really think much of it. Trust me, I think a whole lot of it right about now.

So last night was Plylometics. It was just as fun as I’d predicted. I was bouncing and hopping and being a freaking moron and somehow that qualifies as burning calories. Actually it does because I’m sore today. The Hub was not having as easy of a go at this one. I guess I do have some cardio in my system and I can tolerate the 60 minutes of bouncing and squatting and jumping. I was almost ashamed of his lack of energy. Almost. Until I remembered my bikini pictures.

It is now my complete and total focus to make myself look hot in that damn bikini. As I sit here and eat another stupid Cadbury egg. Notice to Redhead and Megface, though your intentions were appreciated and I love you both so much I could barf, if you ever send me a collective amount of 21 Cadbury eggs ever again, I will drive to Orlando and Spokane respectively and murder you both and then smear fondant egg-colored crème all over your pretty little faces. And then knowing me, I’d lick it off.

Ideas

2010-04-14T16:45:00.001-07:00

I think what this blog needs is a new blog.

No really. I’m trying to conceive a new blog in my mind. A new title and a new theme. Oh don’t worry, running will still be top priority, but I’m feeling deprived of other things I would love to blog about. Like beauty and health in general. Shopping. Me. More of me. You get the picture.

I’m looking into different hosting sites and also considering shelling out some money for a professionally designed site. I already pay a small fee for a .com for this site. Did you know that? Did you know that you can go to www.thebeginningrunnersblog.com and it will take you right back here to this blogspot blog? Well now you know.

I know that blogging is supposed to be a journal of my thoughts, but I’m really enjoying the blogs out there that are entertaining. Filled with pictures and fun things. I want you all to have fun when you read a post and I want it to appeal to more then just the running community. I know that is why most of you are here, but strangely enough, that’s not what I’m all about and I would love a more complex blog with all different pieces of my life.

Unless you’re “google-readering” this entry, you probably have noticed the new flavor I’m testing out. Most of the men who read my blog have already clicked the big X on this page because they can’t stand anything pink and fluffy and cute. That’s ok, I know you’ll come back and read it when the old lady sitting next to you at Starbucks isn’t reading over your shoulder.

Let me know your ideas. Thoughts, opinions and I even want to hear from the nay-sayers. I want to hear it all.

Workout Wednesday: Starting P90X

2010-04-14T14:54:00.001-07:00

I think a very large portion of my readers are supremely interested in my use of P90X. Flubby-hubby and I started the program officially last night. We were supposed to start on Monday, however I was drained of all energy and emotion after a particularly bad day at work. These days don’t come around often, so I wouldn’t expect something like that to interfere with my training again.

My official start weight is 147.8, which means I’ve gained about 3 pounds in the last month or so. I expected this because my pants were a little tighter then normal and I haven’t been running as much as I was. I also have been consuming garbage everyday.

I have my measurements written down and I’ve taken before photos. Before you ask, no, I will not be posting them just yet. Probably at the 30 day mark when I feel a little better I will post them, but otherwise: No fat photos for you!

The diet that comes along with this program is going to be the hardest for me to stick to. It’s not strict by any means, in fact, I think it calls for me to eat more calories then I already do. It’s just the measuring and logistics of it that have me whining and complaining. I don’t like to plan my meals usually. Only when I go to work, but otherwise, dinner has usually been a free-for-all of whatever we have and whatever we feel like eating.

Last night the video we did was called Chest and Arms or something to that effect, followed by “Ab-Ripper X” which is essentially the most genius thing I’ve ever witnessed. 12 abdominal moves, 25 reps of each. Easy right? Not. The thing I liked was that if I could get to the point of remembering these moves then I could do this in my spare time for simple core work. No tools required, just a mat and about 15 minutes. Awesome.

Tonight, when my husband gets home, we’re doing Plylometrics. Which sounds awful but actually, upon fast forwarding through the 50 minute workout, looks really freaking fun.

I’m most excited about the Yoga workout because I can’t wait to watch my husband fall on his butt trying to complete these moves. I mean, I’m so excited I could pee. Right now. I didn’t.

10 Reasons Why Rachael Doesn’t Blog Like She Used To

2010-04-13T15:59:00.001-07:00

Titles are becoming increasingly hard to make up. Hence the above title. Oh wait, blog posts in GENERAL are getting hard to spit out
I’m not running as much as I wish/should/could/need to and therefore I’m afraid you’ll all disperse if I continue posting about my crazy job or my hair … because honestly, other then running, work and my appearance … there’s not much else to me. There I said it: I’m vapid, shallow and a work-a-holic.
I’m overwhelmed by how much everyone else posts. I’m having trouble keeping up with your blogs and therefore I don’t blog myself.
If I sit down at this computer here to post, I inevitably wind up googling everything I can think of (swim suits I won’t wear, SNL skits, coupons for things I’ll never buy). I then read every blog on my reader, every blog attached to everyone else’s blog and blog blogs bloggity blogs. We’ve gone over this before. 12 hours later I still haven’t posted and The Husband is home from work pissed that I sat in front of the computer all day, picking my nose and talking to the cat.
I’m under the impression that you’ve come to expect a certain tone from this blog. You’ve come to expect me to be funny and say stupid shit. Sometimes, I just don’t have anything to say, let alone something that will make you squirt tears of laughter (or squirt in general.) and therefore, no blog for you. Quit pointing your expectant fingers at me.
I work 12 hour day shifts. I wake up at 3 am no matter to do some yoga and again, talk to the cat. She’s awful lonely when we’re gone during the days, so I think our morning conversations are rather important. So is showering and washing this hair. As soon as I get home from work I do another workout of some form (running, P90X or sex … it just depends. I’m kidding, right now it’s only P90X.) and then I eat a little dinner and watch TV and I’m usually out like a light before 9pm. For some goshdarn reason, I don’t have the time to blog. I just can’t figure it out, it’s so weird.
I’m afraid I’ll bore you if I keep posting the same damn things over and over again. No offense, but often you guys bore me too. I’m almost thinking that all of this bloggy world would be better if we all just posted when we had some really great posts and only then. If that means one post a week from someone, then fine. I follow enough blogs that I would still have daily reading material of the quality kind.
Tacos.
I have a terrible disease: Procrastinationitis.
I’m not really that great of a writer. Now that people I literally know on facebook access my blog, (and frequently for some of you, yes, I know.) I’m concerned somebody is gonna call me out for being a goober-faced writer and for just being lame overall.

Speaking of Facebook … This killed me, thanks to www.oddee.com

Terrible Tuesday: Working on my Birthday

2010-04-06T12:42:00.001-07:00

Actually, I'm just fine working today. If I wasn't here, I'd be sitting at home on the computer yelling at the cat for blocking the monitor screen, again.

Sure, I could go for a lovely run since the sun is finally shining, but it would be over quick enough and then where would I be? Bored again.

I like work. I get money and everyone is nicer to you when they know it's your birthday. It's early yet of course. I still have 6 hours to go, but most the nurses and doctors know. And somebody brought cheesecake for me. Awesome, just what my fat arse needs.

Tonight I plan on having frozen pizza with the hubs after a short run. Birthdays aren't really special once you pass 21 ... right?

Happy Tuesday!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Goodbye 25, Hello P90X

2010-04-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

Today is my last day on Earth as a 25-year-old. Tomorrow I will offically be over the hill of my 20's. Ew. I'm not really enjoying that whole thought.

In reviewing my year of 25, I find that it was indeed, quite EPIC.

Not only did I obviously become a runner, lose a butt-ton of weight and most importantly, cut my hair. I also finally finally finally graduated college, moved away to a new city, started a new job that I love and have faced the fact that I am actually a grown up. Most days I don't feel that way, but let's face it. I'm married. More then 80% of my friends are married and have children and I'm in debt up to my eyeballs. Success. Oh yeah, I have a 401K, whatever that means. :)

My dad ordered P90X for me for my birthday. It should be here by the end of the week. It seems I'm facing a lot of criticsm from friends and family for wanting to try this out. Not my husband, by all means, he's convinced he'll be ripped and ruggedly handsome in 3 months time. My dad just rolled his eyes, mentioned how he has a few work buddies that have tried this out and they neither look like our Govenator (back in his prime) nor do they say it's easy. Well duh. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Nothing is easy folks.

I don't run in the driving pouring freezing rain because it's fucking easy. I don't do yoga in my spare bedroom every morning to the point I can lick my own butt (I haven't officially tried yet) because it's fucking easy. I don't wake up at 3am and hit the gym before I work 12 VERY ROUGH hours on my feet because it's easy. I don't take the stairs up to the 4th floor of the hospital 17 times a day because it's easy. If I did everything easy in life, I'd be eating McDonalds everyday and watching Reba on the couch while selling stuff on Ebay.

Sometimes you can't do what's easy. You can't lose weight easy. You can't learn to run easy, you can't run a marathon easy. It's hard. Tough shit. Do it and shut up.

I've been wanting to do P90X for a long time. I know it's hard. Everyone tells me that, everyone warns me I won't like it. I don't really care. Knowing me, I will like it. I will like the abs I get from it, because it means I worked hard and they will speak for themselves. I will like how having a strong core makes me a better runner. I will like how I wake at 3am and bounce around and kick and scream. All before I've had my coffee and pushed my first Code Blue down the hall to the ICU. Fine by me.

Rant over. Besides, I'd like to wear a bikini this summer. And for once, I'll like what I see in that bikini. Happy Birthday to me, I hope you all have a fabulous Monday. I'm hoping to get back home to Redding today before it gets too dark and rainy, I have about 5 miles I would love to get done with. The last 5 miles of my 25 year old life.

Peep

2010-04-04T18:17:00.001-07:00

Happy Easter my friends! I totally ate that little sucker too ...

I took a 4 mile Easter run this morning. Though I wore a festive purple pullover, I'm pretty sure I looked like I was doing The Walk of Shame (The Run of Shame?) because I had yesterday's eye makeup smeared all over and severe bed head. Hot.

I then completely negated that run by stuffing my face with Easter candy, Easter dinner, Easter dessert and Easter eggs.

Did anyone else run today and pass houses that had hidden eggs in the yard? I was seriously half tempted to stop and start hunting for eggs at this house down the road. I didn't want to upset Jesus on his special day though, so I refrained.

Pictures of Hackjob

2010-04-03T07:48:00.001-07:00

I'm in a vacation of sorts this weekend. Hanging out with the 'rents. Sleeping on the futon (mom has now added a feather topper to it, she's trying everything possible to make it less College Dorm and more Martha Stewart) and over eating. They have Fruit Loops here. The un-mistakeable smell of fried pig fat is flooding the house, must be Bacon Saturday. I'll be approximately 22 pounds heavier come Monday.

I ran on the Dreadmill yesterday while it spit wet snow outside. Don't get me wrong. I would of KILLED to be out there running in that rather then the hot smelly gym. My sister was with me however and she gave me that weird "you're a crazy mutha scratcha" look when I started bouncing up and down at the prospect of running outside in the snow. Thanks Jenn with 2nn's for one of my favorite new slang terms: mutha scratcha. I've also gotten quite fond of "bone hole" ... I swear, I'm an adult. Really.

Anyway. I only made it a mile before my bum revolted against me. Lemme tell you though, the first half of that mile I was the goofiest happiest bimbo in a 12 block radius. Hopping along to my gangsta rap with a damn smile on my face. I almost shouted, "Running! I've missed you!" but luckly I've practiced the art of restraint in my adult life. Psssh.

So I'm sure y'all are hanging off the edges of your chairs right now waiting for pictures of The Hair. Unless of course you lamely scrolled down and looked already or you frequent my Twitter page (@rachael_taylor) or my Facebook. It's not as short as I posted I wanted and the color isn't as dramatic. I'm dissapointed about the color but I love the cut. For now.

That's my sister. We let her out of her cage for family gatherings and thunderstorms.

Have a Happy Easter and eat your Peeps safely. We don't want any RUI's out there.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Dirty Talk

2010-04-01T14:25:00.001-07:00

I’m gonna talk real real dirty here. Oh yeah baby.

GOALS.

Ew, I know right?

Let’s revisit some goals. I mean, we’re three months into this fabulous year. I pulled the following list from my New Years post and my current commentary will be italicized and purple:

1.) Run. Run Always. (looking back, this is funny. Run when you grocery shop? Run when you get the mail? Run even when you’re driving?)

Begin training for half-marathon and attempt to train for and complete a marathon (begin training I did, finish training I did not, but heck, I ran that half. I have not yet even begun to THINK about that full)
PR my 10K and 5K time (I did PR my 10K time in February at that Almond Blossom run in the rain, I have yet to run another 5k, but they’re all around me like flies on a bad fruit, I’ll find one.)
Run 1,010 miles in 2010 (so this little ambitious goal just ain’t gonna happen. I’m lucky if I’ve run more then 100 miles at this point)

Eat cleaner.

This entails eating almost no meat. I'm cutting out red meat and poultry. Fish can stay. (ahahhhhhaa, no. Not even close)
Except for my greek yogurts and some occasional parm cheese: No Diary (since cottage cheese is my new favorite obsession)
Try to eat less out of a can and more fresh stuff (yeah, I really need to get moving on this one)
Drink more water and tea, less coffee and soda (how about NO soda?) (I still drink more water then anything, but not enough. Soda only makes a special appearance about once a month)
No candy except on special occasions (like Wednesdays.) (For lent I threw candy out the window. I get to eat it again soon. Which is good because I’ve been stock piling Cadbury eggs and M&M’s, how they haven’t been eaten yet is beyond me)
Eat 6 servings of fruits & veggies, 2-3 servings of complex carbs and no added sugar (they “no added sugar” bit was hard to stick to, I do eat a lot of veggies everyday. I don’t count, but it sounds close to 6. I always eat complex carbs. They’re just that much nicer to me.)

Keep my new apartment clean

No need for details, but I have to make a daily effort otherwise it'll escape me (sad to say, but it escaped me.)
Finish decorating each room (yeah no.)

Keep my skin clear and my hair healthy

I've been slacking in the hair and skin department and it's beginning to show (My skin is fine now, it did it’s own thing and lost the battle to me being lazy.)
Wash my makeup and running-sweat off my face always before bed and after a run (I tried.)
Get regular trims every 6 weeks (well I’m doing the hack job tonight, so I guess this is something.)

Get my finances under control

Again, details aren't necessary, but we need to get on top of things before they get on top of us (pretty much they mounted us and rode us over the horizon. Crap.)

Lose 10-20 pounds

10 would be nice, I've been there before and it was lovely (140 pounds) (I am now 145 pounds, so I lost 5 of those pesky 10, go me!)
20 would be even better and something I've looked forward for my entire adult life
Start P-90X at 130 pounds so I can cut up my new svelte body (I’ll be starting it sooner then that, probably next week …)

Take more pictures of my friends, family and my life (I’ve been trying, but I don’t have much of a life to take pictures of. Especially when I fall on my ass so much and am thereby rendered helpless.)

________________________________________________________________

Well crap, that didn’t go so good. I’m fairly depressed after realizing that nothing really has gone anywhere. I’m basically exactly the same as I was 3 months ago, except I’m 5 pounds lighter (by some miracle of nature) and I’ve stopped eating candy. Well that must be my miracle of nature right there …

So let’s reassess. New goals.

Get back into a good running schedule, try to maintain mileage around 20/week as a normal base

PR 5K time, maybe PR 10K time again
Sign up for another half marathon for the fall

Eat Cleaner

Again, drop it with the cans.
No soda. Only water and maybe Gatorade when I’m feeling frisky
Candy will be allowed as a once a week treat

Clean this crap-hole up. At least so I can feel comfortable inviting people into this mess
Maintain the haircut I’m set to get tonight. Which shouldn’t be hard, because this is the look I’ve decided on:

Lose that last 5 pounds, start P90x and feel better about my body. Boy was that a mouth full.
Pictures? Yeah, I’ll try to have a life first, then I’ll take pictures.

(by the way, April Fools. I don’t want a single person to suggest I actually cut my hair that short. I’ll kill you. And then I’ll get back to playing my softball game and hanging out with my 7 cats.)

Be Still My Broken Heart

2010-03-27T19:40:00.001-07:00

So maybe my tailbum isn't ready for running. Tuesday's 3 mile jaunt went well. Friday's? Not so much.

As soon as I lengthen my stride anything more then a millimeter (ok, I'm exaggerating here) I get a shock in my bum bum as my left foot lands. Fun beans.

I have a chiropractor appointment next week. If anything, she can straighten me out and make it so I'm not hobbling over in anyway. I know there's not much to be done about a bruised (or possibly cracked) bum.

I also have made an appointment with a hairstylist (I chickened out about finding one in Redding and made one with a stylist I'm familiar with in Paradise, 2 hours away) and I think I've decided on at least the coloring and a trim. I still have time to go drastic. It appeared split down the middle, half of you said chop it and half of you said keep it long. So I'm at least going to compromise and cut a few inches off. I can always go shorter later on.

Well, thus concludes the most boring and pointless post in history. You may scatter away now.

(In case you wanted to feel anymore sorry for me, you should be clear on this fact: every damn store in Redding is plum “Sold Out” of Cadbury Eggs. My life must end now.)

The Hair

2010-03-25T17:10:00.001-07:00

I have, what appears to you, totally awesome hair. Appearances can be deceiving. Selective picture posting is even more deceiving. Actually, people that see me everyday generally think I have awesome hair. They must be smoking the crack.

These are some recent pictures you may have seen of my hair. Looks healthy and shiny and gorg-o-rama, don’t it? LIES! All lies!

You can mostly tell from the picture of me in the sunglasses that my hair is of the long variety. It hits me mid-back and touches the ta-ta’s in the front. Hair of this magnitude takes eons to make pretty. I don’t just hop out of the shower and have a quick 5 minute blow-dry sesh with it. Um no. It first has to towel dry (you know, turban style) for 20 minutes. Then I take a super expensive blow drier to it (Actually I'm being serious here, how much did you spend on your blowdryer? Mine costs more then a new pair of running shoes.) and it takes me about 45 freaking minutes to completely blow it out straight. I then sometimes run a high quality flat iron through it. Most days this works OK. As long as I wake up about 2 hours before I have to leave for work. TWO HOURS TO GET READY. Part of that is me being lazy and blogging and iPhoning and doodling around my kitchen eating the same bowl of cereal for 30 minutes while I stretch my arches on Suzy’s favorite cat toy. Ahem.

All of this blow drying and straightening has left my hair rather icky at the tips. Like every single strand has a split. It’s getting harder for me to battle the frizz. As much as I’d love to keep it long, I just don’t think I have the patience in me anymore. So I think a low maintenance hair cut is in order. I also think a little dye would do a girl good.

Currently my hair is completely natural in color. It hasn’t seen a bottle of dye in 2 or 3 years. Let’s pretend for a second that I have a time machine. Modern Rachael takes a little trip back in time and visits herself 5 years prior and meets Rachasaurus, the caveman version of her current self. She may or may not have seen a little scary sight like this.

A fat faced (well fat everything) BLONDE chica. No Bueno. At least the (pre-hubby) Mr. T was thinner here.

What was I thinking, right? In 2004 and 2005 I spent good quality money and time investing in a sunny coif, only to end up with icky poo poo straw. It was way difficult to maintain and it only looked that semi-lovely once in a blonde moon. I eventually wised up and dyed it back to it’s original color. It’s been this totally boring shade of coffee mud water ever since.

I’ve been contemplating this decision for months now. I continue to just sit on it and wait for some inspiring haircut to land in my lap. It hasn’t yet. To add misery to my plight, I can’t seem to find the trust in my heart to try a stylist here in Redding. Nobody ever talks about all the crazy things you suddenly have to do when you move to a new city. Find all the Starbucks locations and know them well. Determine the specific hours Trader Joe’s opens and closes. Find a hairstylist. The last is the scariest for me. I’ve had the same person mess with my hair for years now. Granted, she (unwillingly) did the above atrocity to my head, but I think I really forced her. No, I did. I can’t keep going back to her. Not only is she a long drive away, she only works a few days a week and they aren’t exactly weekends. I need to find a new stylist here in Redding and pronto.

I also need to consider how I will be able to run with a shorter hairstyle. I see a lot of people rocking the pigtails, which are cute and all, but would make yours truly look like a tranny, don’t ask how, they just would. J-Nizzle has shorter hair and she gets away with about half her hair pulled up. I guess I could do that. I really have enjoyed the giant swinging pony tail behind me while I run. I’d like to think it keeps my rhythm in check. After seeing pictures from the Half Marathon however, I’m convinced I just look like Pocahontas running to save John Smith from a be-heading. Not really the look I was going for.

I played around with DailyMakeover.com today and the best I could find was something similar to these.

Yeah that’s me, it took ages to get a half normal picture using the self timer. I still ended up with crazy eyes.

Finally, now that I’ve creeped you all out serial killer style, I’d like to show you a picture I’ve been showing everyone and their Senator because I have it on my phone. This is the color I would love to have.

I think that’s perfectly acceptable hair color for me. Nothing too over the top but still with a little sass in it. That is not me by the way, in case you were being delusional.

So I know I know, this is a running blog. However, this is a big outlet for me and I value other people’s opinions. I don’t value them more then my own, but I do like getting peoples thoughts. The last time I cut my hair short I hated it because my face was too heavy to hold it well. I’m hoping to make a more educated and well planned cut this time. I’m hoping my face isn’t really fat anymore either.

So what’s your opinion? Should I leave well enough alone and just get a trim and some subtle highlights or should I go all out and chop it off?

Bruised Bum, Sucky Run and a Green-Eyed Monster

2010-03-24T14:37:00.001-07:00

So my butt is actually and literally bruised. There is a small purple spot in the vicinity of my ass. I didn't know it was there until today. Why you ask? It was hiding.

In my crack.

I'd show you, but of course that would involve showing pieces of my anatomy that the internet doesn't need to witness.

Likely some swelling has occurred as well, however most of my body is swollen. Most of my body has been swollen for a decade or more. Therefore, determining additional swelling from an injury is a moot point.

Last night I met J-Nizzle for a short run after we got off from work. It doesn’t get super scary dark now until 8:00 and so we met at almost 7:00 and jogged it out. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. My bummy doesn’t ache while running and in fact it really didn’t hurt much this morning (until I bashed it into the side of the bucket seat in my car … Whose idea was it for me to have this tiny little mo-foe of a car anyhow, Daddy Dearest?)

I was indeed getting antsy about not running this long. As the weather warms, all of the seasonal runners come out of hibernating. It seems suddenly that Redding is alive with elite running athletes that I’ve never laid eyes on before. Where were all these happy bouncy runners in December and January? I was there. In the rain. The freezing rain. The wind. Did I mention the freezing drenching pouring rain? I think I have now.

As my not-so-better half and I observed, along all the sidewalks and throughout town, runners runners everywhere. I got a wee bit jealous, as I was dressed in jeans and riding in a vehicle and they seemed to be flying along in fun running clothes with happy jolly grins on their stupid ugly faces. Sorry. Green-eyed monster just stole my typing hands for a second.

Oddly enough, I hated that damn run last night. It was warm, it was buggy (Mid run snack anyone? Easy to digest while running and high in protein …) it was hard on my system. My lungs weren’t being nice, my head was fuzzy and once again I had trouble staying paced with J-Nizz. 3 miles felt like torture. I have hopes that falling back in love with the act of running, and not just the thought of running, will happen soon.

It had better, because in a matter of a week I have packed on some more swelling and suddenly my tummy isn’t as flat as it was last week. The scale may just be lying to me. He does that sometimes. We’re seeking out counseling for him for that issue.

Evidence of my Cuteness

2010-03-23T05:07:00.001-07:00

I love having a blog because I get to talk about myself, show pictures of myself and me and me and me me me.

The bridal shower wasn’t all about me and how I fell on my ass, though I feel like it was veering in that direction. Sorry to Legs who was trying to gather the troops for a TP gown assembly, I went ahead and stole that spotlight at least for the moment. I wasn’t the only cute one there, check out these hotties!

Legs, BJ and myself, being cute before everyone arrived. Warning, this post is filled with the word: CUTE.

All of the bridesmaids and the bride in the center, if you look closely you can see my evil heels. I’m totally wearing them again.

Diddle and I, she’s wearing a necklace I gave her for her Quarter Life Crisis. Oh yeah baby, I take note of things like that.

My mom and I. We almost kind of match. It makes you sick, right?

Just to make you sick, here’s the view from Legs’ mom’s house … Barf, right?

Not the most flattering picture of me, but this was exactly 3 seconds before I fell down the stairs and wrecked my bum-bone.

I didn’t test out the hinny yesterday after work, but I’m bringing my gear with me today and meeting up with J-Nizzzzz after work for a (quick) run. I’m going through DT’s here not running. I mighta cried a little yesterday about it. Only to Hub. Never let them see you cry. Whoever them be.

Rachael Fall Down, Go Ker-Boom (Again)

2010-03-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

You should all be well aware by now that I cannot keep my feet underneath me. They always wind up in the air. Usually it's because I fall down often. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Saturday I attended one of my best friend's bridal shower. I was so flippin' cute too. I have pictures to verify this fact. I also chose some fancy (read: super scary high) heels. They had absolutely nada goin' on in the traction department. I made a task out of scuffing the bottoms up so they could have a little grip on whatever surfaces I would be meeting that day. The overall look was adorable, or so I'm convinced.

At the scene of the crime you will find a slippery oak step (or two) and a spilled flute of champagne. I don't know if I can fully blame the shoes. Rather then a tumble from the ankles, I simply went "Ker-Swoosh" and landed backwards. My tailbone hit the edge of the steps and immediately I was in severe pain. Like somebody had taken a baseball bat to my bum-bone.

I hobbled around the rest of the day, looking suddenly less then fabulous. I had to ice the sucker the whole drive home to Redding and then I had to be at work Sunday at 6am. If I'm asked to reach anything on the ground, it's impossible. Sitting for long periods of time hurts as well. I hopped up and down not too long ago, and did a little jogging in place and it seems to be okay.

I'm going to wait until Monday night after work and go for a little run then. It should be ok, if not, I'll stop right away and ice and go see the doc.

What lesson have we learned here today? If you're going to wear evil super high heels on slippery surfaces, at least have the decency to wear some full coverage underwear. Little bittys at a bridal shower have no desire to see all your bitties and bobbles.

The Shamrock’n Half Marathon Race Recap

2010-03-18T17:23:00.001-07:00

I started writing this recap on Monday. So here I am, Thursday and I’m now re-writing the recap.

I am a complete nitpicker. Ew, not like that. Not usually. No, what I mean is: I’m totally anal and OCD about doing things. I hate posting a lame blog and I hate feeling like I owe my readers more. So after reading and re-reading what I had written so far, I decided to hit delete, download Windows Live Writer (at the suggestion of Aron from this post) and started all over. This feels better already.

So let’s get down to what you all clicked on and are hoping to read: A flippin’ hilarious recap of my first Half Mary Ex-Sparrie!

Friday March 12th (AKA The Day Before The Day Before Doomsday)

Thursday had been that wonderful night from Hell where I worked 18 hours straight. I’ll tell you what that feels like. Complete crap. That’s what. You know that strange float-y feeling you get right in the last 400 feet or so of any race? Like you might faint or laugh straight out loud or black out or puke and die? You know what I’m talking about. And if you don’t, then I think I have a man to see about a problem. A man by the name of Doctor. Well anyway, that’s the feeling you get in the last couple hours of working that long and being on your feet and pushing heavy ventilators down hallways and etc etc. Needless to say, after all that was over, at about 1am Friday morning (after INHALING some fresh cheddar-jalapeño sourdough the Mister brought home) I crawled in bed and had the most rewarding physical relationship with my pillow. I drooled, I snuggled and I squeezed that little sucker all night long, until at least 10am.

I then decided that a decent run was in order, considering it had been 2 entire weeks since I ran. Period. 2 weeks without any cardio what-so-eva. 2 weeks of just pure laziness. I must have been doing something right though, because I was down a few pounds. I then discovered reruns of America’s Next Top Model and decided that was in order instead. Yep, I copped out of another run. An important one.

I can’t even remember what we had for dinner that night, but I do know that I went to bed nervous that I wouldn’t be able to complete the task at hand.

Saturday March 13th (The Day Before I was to Die)

I woke up and lollie dollied around the house. We were in no hurry to leave. The trip to Sacramento was going to take about 3 hours and neither Hub-Master-Flub or I was looking forward to it. As some sort of master plan of distraction, he suddenly had the urgent need to get his hair cut. Since he’s shunned every hair cutter (I wouldn’t call them stylists, he doesn’t have enough hair on his entire body to need a stylist.) in Redding, he was desperate to see the little eye-candy sprite in Chico that always cuts his hair “just right”. A stop off in Chico would add miles to our trip (Chico is about 30 minutes East of Interstate 5, Redding to Sacramento would normally be a straight shot). He promised to let me go shopping, so I agreed. Much needed therapy. J-Nizzle didn’t leave Redding until noon time either, as she was Hell bent on getting her toenails painted green. I tried to reason with her that most running shoes cover your toes … but she only said, “I’ll know they’re green and that’s what matters.”

We arrived at our hotel in Sacramento around 3pm. J-Nizz and her future hubby stopped at the Fleet Fleet downtown and grabbed our bibs. I was thrilled to see a real tech tee in there. Cha-whaaaa … no crappy cotton tee?!? Maybe I’ll wear this for the race! Maybe not. I believe it’s bad luck to wear the race shirt during the race. Besides, J-Nizz and I had matching Nike green tanks.

I was also completely awed by this D-Tag thing. Every race I’ve been in we had to wear these prison style ankle bracelets, sorta like the one Lindsay Lohan had to wear. So stylish.

After a brief nap nestled in my husband’s armpit (to which I later discovered my hair smelled of Old Spice deodorant), we headed off to find some carbs. The Old Spaghetti Factory was plum booked solid. I seriously almost cried. Mr. Jack to the rescue and I quickly twittered about the dismay. Layla to the rescue, she suggested several of her favorite pasta hot-spots that she and her friends have eaten at before. Paesano’s on Capitol and 18th to the rescue! I tried booking with them also, but they couldn’t guarantee our seating. The hostess said we shouldn’t have more then a 30 minute wait if we just walked in. She lied.

Saturday night. High school spring formal. Art show in town. St. Paddy’s day festivities abound. Thousands of carb starved runners looking for a hot plate of whole wheat. We waited for an hour and half before getting a table. It would of been the perfect time to belly up to the bar and slam back a few Irish Car Bombs or Apple-tinis. Green beer. Except, oh yeah. Two of us were running 13.1 miles in the morning. Insert sad face [here]. We played around with my camera instead.

I had whole wheat pasta with tomatoes, roasted garlic, basil and grilled chicken. I think there was other stuff in there, but I was more concerned with all the yummy crusty bread I was given. Since we had to wait so long to get a table, it was nearly 8:30 by the time we got back to the hotel. Which meant it was really 9:30. Why you ask? Oh, you know, that fun little thing we West Coasters like to do called DAYLIGHT SAVINGS. Not a nice thing to have to wake up to the morning before a big race. Oh hey, it would really by 4am right now … happy running cause you still could be sleeping!

Sunday March 14th (Death to Me)

I put on my cute little green outfit. Such a lemming. Such a goober too. Look out! We left the hotel at 6am and discovered a Starbucks a block from the hotel. This is where things start to go wrong. Actually, things started going wrong when I veered off my training plan a few weeks ago, dropped runs and basically gave up. But that’s another story for another day.

I had failed to think about my pre-race eating/pooping/drinking habits. Usually I have this down and I’ve thought about this already for weeks. Usually. This time, for some reason un-known to me, I completely dropped the ball. I had no Clif Bar. No banana. No hemp shake. Nada. I had a Larabar, that was it. And that’s only because I carry one with me in my purse at all times. J-Nizzle’s future MIL had a Larabar for me too (which looked better then the squashed one I keep in my purse). At Starbucks I panicked. What the ish do I order??? I don’t know if I’ve ever had coffee before a race. Sometimes before a run. I ordered a regular cup of drip coffee, mostly because I was freezing cold and wanted something to warm my gullet. Oh boy, did I EVER warm that gullet.

We split a banana and I chewed on more of that Larabar and had a few bites of my yogurt parfait before I decided that I was going to create an awful mess in my gut if I kept this up. Too late.

So we drove to the the stadium and we immediately ran into traffic on the bridge. Luckily it wasn’t even 7am yet. It was also about 39 degrees outside and we were near the river. Fabulous. We hopped out and froze our pa-tooties off looking around. We huddled in a bathroom alcove that was completely empty. No lines? Awesome. Then we got bored and cold and went back to the cars and sat and waited until it got closer to race time. I tucked a Mint Chocolate GU into the little pouch in my pants above my butt crack. Fun place to hide GU if I don’t say so myself.

Now J-Nizzle really had to poo, and I had yet to drop any kids off at the pool. In fact, the kids hadn’t swam since Saturday morning! We headed back to the bathrooms, confident that there wouldn’t be lines again. Stupid girls. On the way there I ran into Aron, we had been twittering all morning and she mentioned she’d be wearing a bright blue hat so I spotted her right away! I gave her a quick hug and wished her luck and her to I and we didn’t even take a picture. I also met super speedy Paige, who I’m now following on Twitter as well. Can we say 1:34 finish time? Yikes!

Here we are waiting in line for the bathroom. That’s right, there was a line about 200 feet long. Not kidding. It went fast enough since these were real stalls and not porta potties. The smell once you got inside was something to remember. Hundreds of freshly laid runner piles wafted through the air. You’d think that would be inspiration enough for my little bowels. Um, no. I sat, I whistled (you bet I did!) and I prayed. I massaged, I looked to the Heavens. Nothing.

I left the bathrooms defeated and waited for J-Nizz. She took longer then me and was sporting this face when she emerged. Somebody got lucky.

I decided that since I felt fine now, maybe I would be ok. The first wave was just taking off which meant us “2nd Wavers” had to start shuffling into place. We said goodbye to our men-folk and J-Nizz’s super cute future MIL (mother-in-law for those of you wondering if I’ve simply left off an “F” from that acronym or what …) and we huddled around nervous and excited. Heck I’m getting butterflies with massive wings in my tummy right now just typing it.

The gun went off and as I expected and have experienced before in races, we sorta stood still and hung out for a few seconds. We shuffled and then just as we passed the start line, I hit Greta’s magic button and the crowd dispersed a little.

Mile 1 11:10

There was a lot of weaving and bobbing and illegal passing/violations for use without a blinker going on here. I was feeling good at this point of course. We crossed the infamous Gold Bridge (I don’t know what it’s really called, I’m not a Sac-toian) and hit our first mile right before our first band. I’m not a fan of running by bands because it hurts my ears being that close to speakers. I ran without an iPod for this entire thing, I didn’t even bring the little snack with me, but I almost wish I had. None of the music they were playing was really my flavor. Not my running flavor at least.

Mile 2 10:20

I was aware we were picking up the pace here, and it felt fine. There was some downhill portions and I’m pretty sure this is where we first hit an out and back where I could see the super fast runners passing us on the other side. Shortly after the 1:40 pacer passed by I saw Aron running and I was able to shout out to her, I think I yelled something lame like “Hey Aron!” when I would have liked to shout something like, “Go Aron Go!” but I was in the midst of telling J about how we’ll probably see her coming soon … haha.

Mile 3 10:58

It was right about here that my stomach started up. It was a sour little knot deep in the pit of my stomach. I was having trouble keeping pace with J at this point and I let her get about 10 feet in front of me. Before the next mile marker she had pulled a good distance ahead and by the time we did a flip around to head back I completely lost her. I was on my own now.

Mile 4 11:11

I really started slowing down, mostly I was mad I couldn’t hold that 10:30 pace for very long. I started reasoning with myself about how I really didn’t train properly for this and I should be so grateful that I wasn’t (yet) lying in a puddle of poop on the side of the road with a busted shin and a debilitating side cramp.

Mile 5 11:55

More slowing down. This mile including a steady hill that I plodded up, steady but tired. There wasn’t much to look at here because we where now on the out and back portion where I could see the slower runners, just as I had seen Aron before. Just before the Mile 5 marker I saw my husband and J-Nizz’s (future) MIL cheering me on.

Mile 6 12:25

Slower still. This mile wound us through historic downtown Old Sacramento. It’s really old western cool. I haven’t been there since I was a 4th grader. I was sad to see the old candy-bin shop closed. They had penny candy in giant bins. A shop that wasn’t closed however. This yummy looking crepe shop that had a giant sign proclaiming “Coffee! Doughnuts! Crepes!” in big bold letters. Way to cheer the runners on, a-holes. I saw J-Nizzle again here during a quick out and back. My team was waiting to take funny pictures of me. For your viewing pleasure.

Mile 7 12:46

This is about the time I start feeling a little somethin’ umpthin’ in my ankle. Not the ankle bug I previously had problems with. No, this was a strange sensation. Like I had a rock caught in my sock at the top of my ankle, under the tongue of my shoe. I ignored it at first. I also removed my GU from my pouch and carried it in my hand for good measure, fully planning on taking it at exactly mile 6.55, because I’m weird with numbers like that. However, there wasn’t a water station at that time so I held on knowing a station would be somewhere. At the Mile 7 mark they had the finish line for the Relay (well actually it was the pass off point) and it seemed cruel to me that they had these first leg finishers right in front of us. Not cool. They had a funny announcer guy however at this part, “Ok guys, be cool, the cops are here. Everyone act natural. Keep running, I’ll do the talking.” and I laughed so hard because a motorbike cop zipped by me at that moment. It was here I decided to try my first mid-race porta potty. The achin’ in my gut had gone far enough and I was ready for, a, er, dump.

The stall I chose was nasty. Urine all over the seat, half soaked TP and more crap in the hole then I care to remember. I couldn’t sit down, so I squatted and attempted, but nothing happened. Anxiety. I couldn’t do a thing about it and the clock was ticking. My whole body was unhappy with me at this point. Upset I was running like this. Upset I had just stopped completely. Ankle screaming, gut churning. Hey this was a fun idea. Maybe I can just walk back to the finish line and pretend I ran the whole way that fast. Maybe.

I hauled out of the potty and over to a curb where I investigated my ankle. What the ish was going on? No rock, no nothing. Same shoes I always wear. Same socks. Same everything. I undid the laces a little and re-tied them looser. This helped ultimately but the damage was already done. I had bruised the heck out of the top of my ankle.

Mile 8 13:34

I was just plodding along at this point. My ankle still barking at me. My stomach still hurting. We were winding around through some neighborhoods. I found a water stop somewhere around here and took my GU (unwillingly) and gulped down a full cup of water. For the record, I avoided the poweraide drink at all the water stops except the very last one right before Mile 12.

Mile 9 13:50

I think this was the mile I had the most trouble with. This begins a horrible out and back portion that seems to go on forever. It wanders you out into some really nice neighborhoods and you can see the never ending line of people ahead of you meandering for what seems like miles. It was 2 miles total, out and back, but it sure felt like more. It was shortly after the 8 mile marker I saw little Tara, another friend from Twitter coming in the opposite direction. I called her name and she squealed and high-fived me. I was so excited to see her. I wish I could of met her and not just see her for a brief second.

I saw J-Nizzle again at this time as she passed on the other side, she ran over and we met at the center and hugged or high-fived, I can’t really remember. I then saw a porta potty stop and made my move. Or so I thought. This time the stall was clean and I grabbed a liner and sat my ass down. Nothing really came forward and announced it’s presence like I expected. I left feeling worse then I had.

Mile 10 13:26

I finally gave in and started walking a bit. Only because my gut was crashing into my lungs at this point and my ankle was begging me. I tried not to walk too long and as soon as somebody passed me I started up again. This was it, the furthest I had ever run. I passed that 10 mile marker with a big heavy heart. Only a 5K to go, that’s all I kept telling myself. Damn that was the longest 5K of my life.

Mile 11 13:43

I started really tiring out and walking a lot. I remember very clearly that right before this mile ended I heard Chariots of Fire. The band at this point in the course had taken a break and somebody put on some music. This isn’t the best song to hear when you still have 2 miles and some change left to run. I remember looking over at a lady next to me and we both rolled our eyes. Really.

Mile 12 14:17

Holy walking Batman! I don’t remember much about this mile. I think there were some small hills that felt like mountains. I think I took some Poweraide and I think I wanted to die.

Mile 13 14:15

I wish I could tell ya that I really picked it up here and kicked it to the finish, but I didn’t. I walked some more, pounded along and passed a group of kids that were sincerely happy for us. They cheered us on and I looked down at Greta and saw that I had less then a half mile to go. I seriously teared up at this point. You know how people say they cry at marathons and you go, “Oh shut up you lame ass …” well, heck, I’m a lame ass. I was just so freaking HAPPY to be almost done with it. I wasn’t in so much pain that I had to cry, I was just emotional at the prospect of finishing.

Finish 2:48:49 (Chip Time) 2:44:01 (Greta Time)

I rounded about and entered the stadium. I wanted to push, I really did. I didn’t have much left. I heard them calling names of the finishers and I tried to listen for mine, but I never heard it. I took notice of people racing around me though and realized I was in a nice little bubble and that nobody else would be crossing at the same time. Suddenly I heard somebody approaching as I neared 100 feet. I kicked it then and I crossed before her by a few seconds. I forgot about my race photos then and awkwardly raised my arm(s) up or maybe just one arm and did some weird little move. Almost like I’m combing my hair back. Gosh I’m seriously a nerd.

I quickly found my husband and J-Nizzle and we posed for some photos. As if you haven’t see enough already. I really like my medal, it’s pretty cool. We had a check out time at the hotel of 12PM and since I took my dear sweet time finishing the freaking race, it was nearly 11. Even after we got to the hotel, it took a lot of work to have a successful movement in my nether regions. A lot of work. I was grateful to be back on the road soon and we finally stopped for a bite to eat in Chico where I again soothed my weary soul with some more shopping and a lot of baby-loving on all my friends’ children.

I apologize this post took so long. I apologize this post IS so long. You don’t have to read it, in fact, you’ve probably already scrolled down here to this last paragraph and read “You don’t have to read it” and you are grateful you didn’t.

I know this month I’ve been a lame ass blogger. Some people still think I’m awesome. Jake from BrokenHeartedRunner thinks I’ve got one of the best running blogs on the web. I beg to differ, but I like the crowd so I’ll hang out for awhile and enjoy the food and rub shoulders with some of the other great bloggers out there. I figure somebody will rat me out eventually, but until then, I’m putting the badge on my page. Just in case.

Poo & Phinishing

2010-03-14T12:14:00.001-07:00

2:44:01 according to Greta. Everything hurts and I had the horrible feeling I had a "load to drop off" the whole time but was never able to overcome my stage fright in a porta potty. My ankle killed. I kept seeing the word "bowl" everywhere. Not funny.

I finished. That's all that matters. Also, I feel sorry for the tiny Mexican lady about to clean our hotel room. Sorry about that little chica ... be strong.

Full race report to come. Likely on Tuesday since I work all day tomorrow (that should be a blast ... 12 hours on these legs.) ok. I'm off to eat food (like a ton, to replace the void in my bowels) and to shop. Therapy.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Gulp

2010-03-13T09:26:00.000-08:00

Clearly moving to dayshift has a huge effect on my ability to blog ... Especially when I stay over for an additional 6 hours .... add that up. I'll wait. Yep. 18 hours of straight work. On my feet.

Could be reason why I have a funny little ingrown toenail I can't seem to remedy. Yes I've tried to pry it out already. Didn't work.

I'm going to blame anything that happens during this race on my toe. Just so we're clear.

Here's hoping I don't DNF! My only goal is to finish. I may walk. Throw up. Whine. But I have to finish.

Catch you on the flip side where I'll hopefully be a half-marathoner!

Reno

2010-03-09T04:35:00.000-08:00

Generally speaking, people in the medical field that have licenses have to complete annual education in order to continue being licensed. I needed a quick fix before I have to renew mine in April, so Sunday I hopped on a jet plane to Reno where I could score a few credits at a conference, with Hubby in tow ... oh no wait ... that's right. We drove.

Actually, Reno is only 3 hours from here and the drive was beautiful, I was ooooing and awwwwing the whole way. I took some pictures, but HubmasterJ had a serious itch up his arse or something and wouldn't pull over and let me take some GD pictures! Like we were on a time crunch or something. I'll have you know that we checked in to our hotel at noon and then proceeded to lay around and watch movies all afternoon. Seriously.

Goober-face. I told him that shirt reminded me of baby-vom. He bought it anyways.

Well at least someone travels in style. I'm just saying.

My first glimpse of snow and I get all giddy. I was under the impression this might be the only snow I'd see for the rest of the year. Little did I know.

We stopped to stretch and I took the opportunity to be a huge erfing dork. We'll discuss this horrible hair situation later this week.

Outside of Susanville I was mystified by this awesome mountain range. I got mad camera skillz, yo?

We ate semi-crappy food inside the casinos. The conference was taking place at Harrah's and that's where we had a room booked too. I only had the time to attend the first day (and I didn't need all those extra credits, I'm not that over-achieving) and so I attended lectures all day while poopy face sat around with nothing to do. He doesn't gamble and we don't have the money for him to pick it up as a sport anyway.

This is what he did for the 7 hours I was in lecture. That and apparently mess with the pimple above his left eye.

I looked super cute in the mean time. Generally speaking (although I saw puh-lenty of violations) you try to look nice for conferences because you're amongst your colleagues and co-workers. I try to look nice no matter what when I attend work functions. I don't think my ripped jeans and riding boots look would go over well here. Especially because I appeared to be one of the youngest attendees.

As soon as the last lecture was over, Hubby and I hopped in the car (and I back into previously shunned ripped jeans) and we started to head home. J-face had been keeping an eye on the weather cast and we realized we may be in for a small snow storm on the way home. Nothing too bad.

I mean, just a small snow storm. Perhaps you'd be interested to know that the big red ~~dog~~ Dodge my husband covets more then I, is only 2-wheel drive. Rear wheel. We had chains with us, but Mr. Danger wanted to see if we could survive without. Survive.

And then there was more snow. Hence my, "I'm super scared" face. Haha!

Our windshield wipers froze up and so did the washer fluid. It was 23 degrees outside. Kind of a freak snow storm if you ask me.

Finally I leave you with a video of the snow. The quality is really pits, but this is my first attempt at posting a video on my blog. Milestone!

We made it home just fine actually. The snow stopped about 15 miles outside of Redding and we got home tired and burnt out. I start my first dayshift in less then 2 hours. I woke up at 3am wide awake (a common theme now) and so now that I've blogged and read your blogs, I'm ready to start my day! Yippeee!

Here's to an un-Terrible Tuesday! I have a review/giveaway this week, a hair-related post and then an inspiring post from Reno that I can't wait to share!

Bad Bloggers get Spankings

2010-03-07T07:31:00.000-08:00

Or so I hope.

I know. I've been a low-down dirty bad blogger. I've been a bad runner too. Do not do anything but badger me to death about being such a loose nut and missing an entire week of running.

With the black death plague that struck me late last week and the slew of night shifts ~~I got stuck with~~ I signed up for as a torturous farewell to the land of darkness ... I just plain old didn't get out there.

Now I have a Half Mary (my first) in T-minus one week. Gulp.

The furthest I've ran is 10 miles. ~~Experts~~ other people have told me I'll do just fine. The two 10-milers I have under my belt had both hinged on disastrous at best. One required the use of a painful icebath and walking the last quarter mile. The other ended in blisters and me bad-mouthing myself internally for being such a slow muther-effer (just last weekend).

I think this is a lofty goal at best: FINISH.

J-Nizzle and I haven't been able to train together for awhile now. The hospital has been filled with sick people (strangely enough: they have the same thing I do ...) and so the need for people working extra shifts has been high. I don't mind the extra money on my paycheck (hello time-and-a-half) and yet somehow I can't help but feel sorry for myself when I'm being dragged alongside another overdose out into the cold parking lot and into and out-building (conveniently it's raining) so this douche-bag can receive a head scan while I stand next to him, squeezing a bag that is giving him breaths of life he didn't even want and keeping him alive. What's keeping me alive (or keeping my children from having a third arm removed from their forehead during emergency surgery they day their born?) is a delicate "necklace" of lead around my thyroid and an apron of it to protect my uterus. Anyways, watch as I get off topic there.

So the Half Mary. Anyone want to send me inspiring stories of how they didn't train appropriately for their first half marathon but managed to pull an amazing finish with nary a blister/poop spatter/barf session/pulled groin?

This week I promise a plethora of posts including one to do with nothing about running, a review/giveaway and some pictures from Reno. Which is where I'm heading in one hour. Hello Nevada, please won't you take my money and give me bronchitis like you did last year? Great!

Vom

2010-03-05T05:13:00.000-08:00

I'm taking the next hour or so I have of free time to post (and read all your posts!). I'm at work and I've finished all my necessary tasks for the night. I'm not planning on going above and beyond the call of duty at this point either unless a code blue is called. And because I typed that, it will happen, right?

Tonight was my last night shift. I'm feeling bittersweet. I enjoy (most) the people on night shift. The atmosphere is laid back and there aren't any "heel-clackers" (the business suits that wander around the halls during dayshift with their protocol-only noses stuck up your butt, they usually can be heard miles away clicky-clacking towards you in cheap heels). I can't wait to have my life however. My husband. Dinner at home. Sleeping during the dark hours. Not having to kill the neighbor's dog for barking all night long.
I've been battling a wicked stomach flu the past couple days. It started at the beginning of my shift last night with some cramps and the un-deniable feeling that I had to ralph. It came out the other end instead. Again and again and again. Same for tonight, but this time I don't feel like puking. Just a tender tummy and a loose you know what.
It's funny how the half-marathon is only a week away and I've made a complete disaster of my training. This is the second week in a row I've only run one day or so. I tried many times this week to get out of bed early and head out there, but sleep always took precedence and now I'm sitting here with no running in nearly 6 days. If my tummy feels better (and things don't feel as "loose") tomorrow, I'll go for a quick jaunt just to get some power back in my legs. Taper week turned into taper-3 weeks it appears. I have confidence that once I get on a solid daytime schedule I'll be able to run better and stick to my schedules. After this half marathon however, I'm not sure what I'm going to do next.
I really was planning on running a full marathon in June, but one of my best friends quickly scheduled her wedding the weekend before the planned marathon and another best friend is getting married 2 weeks after that weekend. I figured work would probably kill me if I requested every weekend in May and June off for wedding festivities and a marathon. I think the best thing to do is train for a full marathon in the fall. Now I've just got to pick a few out. Any suggestions?

Less then 2 weeks

2010-03-01T13:27:00.001-08:00

• Until my first Half Marathon

• Until I offically start dayshift

• Until one or both of my toenails makes an untimely exit from my left foot (I know).

The middle one (the bird, if you will.) is sore to the touch if you press on it and it has a fancy blister/callus on it's side. The second in rank (Captain or Lieutenant?) has already gotten a few short haircuts. I think we'll have to go bald next.

Oh Alright

2010-02-28T11:02:00.000-08:00

I suppose I'll post.

Actually I had an awesome run filled weekend. Not those kind of runs either ...

It rained on Friday, and winded and sucked. J-Nizzle and I had a run planned at 7am, which actually probably would of been a better idea then the rescheduled 1pm meeting we ended up with (I had a case of insomnia the night before and wanted a little more sleep, I also skipped my spinning class. Bad Rachael.). At 7am it was barely raining and 46 degrees outside. By 1pm it was windy and raining harder and maybe only 2 degrees warmer. We just decided that crazy is crazy and that's what we are. I tried to take a picture of the wetness outside my front door.

You can't really tell, but it's actually raining fairly hard. I literally opened the garage up and stared out at the rain hitting the pavement and almost closed the door back down. Across town, J-Nizzle was doing the exact same thing. What's funny about having a running partner is that you always assume they are super excited and hardcore and that they never feel lazy and uninterested like you are at that moment. I didn't want to disappoint her, so I got in my car and away I went.

Look at me. Look at the excitement just steaming off my face. I look like the purple people eater. Purple poople eater? Yeah.

We decided to cut our planned 8-miler down to a measly 4 miles. Not only were we cold and wet, but I was not having it. Considering I hadn't in run in 6 days (GASP!) I think my leg fatigue was understandable. I'm not sure why I didn't run all week, it was just me being completely lazy I suppose.

Saturday I awoke to beautiful clear skies. I met up with the trail running group I mentioned a few weeks ago with anticipation of another muddy trail run. I had no clue where this trail was and how to get there, but by gosh I was going and running 10 miles and nobody was gonna stop me.

Believing it was going to be as muddy as the last one, I wore the older Nikes again with the new inserts and figured my blisters wouldn't come back as I had been wearing the inserts for a few weeks now and la-dee-da. Dead Wrong. The blisters returned after mile 6 with a vengeance.

Once again I failed to take my camera, there were some cool waterfalls. Truth be told, I didn't have a pocket or pouch to carry it in and I've learned that tucking it in my bra is bad idea (boob sweat on the lens, not so great.). I needed my hands to carry a water bottle and some Shot Blocks.

About mile 8 I noticed my knees really aching and my blisters biting. My paced dropped considerably. The group leader, Susan, slowed down and ran with me for the last 3 miles or so. I hate being so slow, but the important thing is that I completed my mileage and finished the run.

I'm considering a quick 2 mile recovery run this morning, but considering is really I nice way of saying that I'd like to but I'd rather crawl back in bed and sleep before shift tonight. Only another month of night shifts, only another month.

Sunshine

2010-02-25T17:32:00.001-08:00

I'm sure you're sick and tired of hearing me complain about my job and how 12 hour night shifts are sucking the life out of me. Once again, this week I'm playing the part of whiner and slug as I attempt to recover from my weekly "hangover".

How much longer can I go on like this before darkness takes me over in every sense? Like I mentioned once or twice before: I've worked this shift for 4 years and, for the most part, I've got it all figured out.

Working a difficult night shift takes a special kind of someone. Millions of individuals do it every evening. They leave their families, spouses, warm sheets, friends' parties and sometimes just a pet, behind. They check out of the world for days in a row focusing only on the necessary and pushing the rest off for a while. Most do it well, most like it. I am not one of those brave people. I do it but I'd rather not and I often swallow it like a giant "you-gotta" pill.

Lately I've been feeling down on myself. I love my job. Once I'm there, I enjoy being there. I continue through my shifts, happy and bubbly, but ... a little part of me dies each day when the reality of my abnormal situation hits me in the face. There are so many things I can't do. So much time with my husband I'm missing out on. So many friends that have asked me to be there for them and often I'm not, or I'm only partially there. A tired shell of the person I should be. So much sunshine I don't get to enjoy.

In November my husband and I moved here to Redding. Redding is a beautiful city and I've come to truly appreciate this new life. I miss my family terribly, my heart aches each day for that loss. I know now however that moving here was a good thing for both my husband and I. Financially we are better off but more importantly we are each others crutches in this new world and safety in love has become a completely new idea for us. However, I often now feel that I am only giving him a piece of my time and myself.

On one hand I truly enjoy the people I work with on nights and I enjoy the atmosphere. I have created a delicate schedule to maintain my diet, my running and my sleep and up until recently I had all of it under control. Until it wasn't. Until I started letting my diet slip. Skipping runs. Sleeping too much and laying wide awake on my nights off. Hating myself.

Tuesday night, after everything in the report room settled down and we were getting ready to tackle first rounds, my supervisor asked me one question: "A day shift position is opening next month, did you want it?"

There was never another option. If I was to be happy with myself and my life I needed to say yes. I returned to the hospital Wednesday afternoon for some computer training and consulted with J-Nizzle on the option. She of course was thrilled and wanted me to come to days with her. I left a small note on my supervisors locker and left the hospital just as it started to sprinkle with a little bit of sunshine beyond that. It was then that my decision had been confirmed. I enjoyed the prize that I felt was sent just for my daylight eyes. A rainbow that only pure sunshine could produce.

Terrible Tuesday: Fat Day

2010-02-23T17:12:00.000-08:00

Sorry. My humor can be a bit much to swallow, right?

I know last Tuesday was supposed to be "Fat Tuesday" but I guess I felt the need to celebrate it two weeks in a row. Let's just say my day involved eating a lot of fatty dip and chips before I went to bed and a whole lotta no-running.

Sometimes my inner fat-girl takes over and grabs hold of me (especially when I'm at the grocery store at 6:30 in the morning post-shift) and I end up walking down the aisles making noises similar to what the cookie monster makes while nomming on cookies.

1400 calories before bed later ... well you get the picture.

It's raining cats and dogs (hence the free cat up there, splat?) outside right now and I have 20 minutes to get ready for work. Which better not include belligerent drunks in the ER again. I don't like the smell (rotten pumpkins, in case you were curious.) and I don't like the "C"-word being screamed at my face over and over. Just doesn't make for a happy warm fuzzy Rachael.

Move on with the rest of your day. There's nothing to see here folks. Just a fat girl complaining about things she could of controlled.

So About That ...

2010-02-22T07:50:00.000-08:00

I know I said I would start Music Mondays back up ... but ...

Liar! That's what you're all shouting at me. I know. Music Monday was a fun little 2 month fling-thing, but there's only so much music out there and frankly I'm sure 200 songs is plenty for now. If you missed all the Music Monday magic in the last couple months, there's a little puff (OK, it's a cloud.) of word tags to your right. Music Monday happens to be the first tag and if you click on it (still following me here?) you will be led away to all the posts I tagged as Music Monday jewels.

Today is Monday. I have no music for you. In fact, lets do that over, in the voice of the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld (if you don't know this reference, I don't know you anymore.) ahem, NO MUSIC FOR YOU!

Instead I have a race recap. Oh yeah, I can see all your little shinning faces light up with joy! I have not let you down, is this correct?

So the week went by with me skipping runs and being a lazy arse as per usual. Did I not warn you when I began all this half-marathon training that I would half-ass it? I think I did. I managed to squeeze out 11 miles total before Saturday and one of those miles somewhere in there (don't ask where, it just happened one of those days ...) I did a 10 minute mile. Which is epic for me if you know my slow turtle butt at all. As you read on Friday, the hub-master-dub and I traveled Southward for the weekend to eat the food out of my parent's cupboards, essentially. And sleep on their futon, essentially. Before meeting up with them, we snozzled with the locals. OK so we visited with Hubby's BFF and he mentioned that his girlfriend was running a race in the morning and would I puuh-leeze join in. OK so begging wasn't involved and I knew I had to get some running in while I was down there or I was going to be screwed, so I agreed to tag along. Impromptu 10K? Sure!

After seeing a freaky movie with the fam-dam (Shutter Island, and if you think you might be clinically insane just a little bit, don't see this movie. Suspicions will be confirmed.) I hopped in ~~bed~~ futon early and enjoyed digesting the only form of carb loading I could find: Chips and Salsa with Beans and Rice. Maybe a taco. We know I love tacos. I arose with a gentle flutter of my eyes and then promptly reset the alarm for another 45 minutes.

I made a delicious hemp shake for breakfast. Hemp. Who knew? Actually I've been using hemp protein in smoothies and shakes for a years now, hurts my tummy a little less then soy. A little less. I woke The Monster up and together we headed off to Durham, a small farm town 10 minutes south of Chico. Heading down the hill from The Sticks we were suddenly confronted with a monsoon. Not kidding.

Wait, first let me tell you what I was wearing. Every piece of clothing I brought with me from home. No really, I was. My favorite running shorts. A pair of cotton leggings over those (for temporary warmth). A running tank. A semi-cotton long sleeve yoga tee. My favorite Nike zip-up. A rain shell my mom gave me that wouldn't do for running (it wasn't actually waterproof and it was heavy as a monkey). Not my hat. Let me re-iterate that. NOT MY HAT. My hat, my favorite little waterproof running cap, sat fit as a fiddle on the top shelf of my closet 100 miles away. Hoorah!

The reason for my temporary case of insanity about running in the rain? This man. If you would like to send hate mail to your local weather person, I understand fully and I think I've made a nice little template you can borrow. Doodle is pissed right now because she loves that man and sadly, I don't think he'll ever love you back. He likes boys. Or so I'm told. He told me the rain was going to be late afternoon into the night. Not bright and butt-f#ck early during my little race! I hates you. Had I been better informed I would of at least prepared in some way or another. A hat. My rain pants. My jacket. Whatever Rob, I'm over it.

We arrived at the high school gym where the sign up, registration and t-shirt pick up was happening. I'm pretty sure they were selling food to people. Selling. I'd also like to complain on a further note and mention that no water was given out during the race. They could of put empty cups out and had a few inches of pure fresh stuff for us to guzzle. Cheap right? And yet, no water. I digress.

The rain hadn't actually even arrived yet when we got there. Hubby drives faster then the storm, wicked cool right? It only took about 20 minutes of standing around under threatening clouds before everyone else figured out what I already knew was coming. Hubby's BFF's girlfriend (well we'd better give her a nickname at this point, right? Speedy sounds good), also arrived in shorts (thank the Lord, I'm not alone in my bare-legged endeavor!)

Running to the start line. I don't know why I have the tongue of a beagle here. It's black and white because boys don't understand cameras. Truck engines and carburetors, sure. Cameras and computers? No. Not my boys at least.

Tip: Don't wear non-water proof mascara in a torrential downpour (that tip is mostly for the boys.) So we had to jog about a half mile to the start line (really now?) and then stand around waiting for the gun. ~~Several gallons of water later~~ a mile later I noticed a strange sensation in my feet. Squishing was that? Yeah.

Before the start. You can't really tell we're soaking wet until you look at Speedy's shorts (in the middle).

Speedy actually stayed with my slow ass for the first 3 miles. They called out the times for us as we passed mile markers (which was helpful in my case because Greta was tucked under a heavy wet layer of clothing) and at the 3 mile mark we heard 30:50 which actually sounded great to me, but I guess it really lit a fire under Speedy's butt and with my blessing she took off like a rocket. I'll get her little "I did high school track" butt one of these days. Yes I will.

Probably the most unflattering photo of me to date. My crotch was clearly hungry.

Well so it rained. And rained and rained. I'm not complaining. Not when my thighs went numb. Not when I had water squishing around in my nether regions like a soggy diaper. Not when I felt my first blister (I lubed my pups up Redhead, I swear!) and not when a 10-year-old ankle biter pulled a few more hundred feet ahead of me. I kept at it. One girl puked her Grapenuts up on the side of the road, several times. I made sure I chicked her in the end. I had to.

My official time was 1:07:10 (mostly according to Greta the Garmin) and that my dear friends kicks my current 10K time by 2 whole minutes. A time I set 2 months ago. Let's hope I've gotten faster, I'm running twice as much and doing speedwork now for cripes sakes.

I had it in my head that I would go to the park and do another 4-6 miles after the race to get my mileage in for the day, but I hadn't planned on being soaking wet and therefore, a hot shower and a turkey sandwich beat out the other 6 miles by a long shot. I'll make it up this week. Promise. Starting today, running 5 miles before work. I think. I hope.

Mishy Mash

2010-02-19T15:34:00.001-08:00

Bare with me on this one, I'm posting from my Glued-To-My-Hand-Til-I-DiePhone while hubby drives. I don't think you'll be able to smell the vomit through the Internet (because I will, car-sick queen here) but if things are misspelled ... it's because normally I rely heavily on Spellchecker. Hold on, douchy-face is trying to get my attention. No, I don't care about that Firebird. Seriously, let me mobile blog in peace man!

We're on our way to land of The Parentals and Former Friends. I'm dressed in something other then running clothes or scrubs and I'm sucking on a smoothie from Jamba Juice. Tom Petty is harmonica-ing in the background and Bunghole just pointed out the green hue to my face. Did I paint a good picture for you? Great, let's quickly move on.

I went to Spinning this morning. It would of been a lovely day to skip but unlucky for me, the instructor ran into me last night during my run and goes, "Hey I'll see you in class tomorrow!" and so I couldn't fake sick or not show up after that. Cripe.

I had another one of those sleepless nights where I contemplate murdering my husband with a little "pillow therapy" from all the snoring and skinning the cat for licking my effing face while I'm trying to sleep. I watched the Olympics instead. It was a toss up but the mess was more manageable if I just turned on the TV.

After Spinning I hit the path for some more miles. I hated that decision 300 feet into the run. I had to convince myself that I really wanted to do it at each half mile mark. I finally made it 2 miles and turned around and completed 4 miles. 4 slow gimpy miles. I was sore and tired and generally OVER IT. I guess some days are like that. Tomorrow I have 10 miles in Chico planned. It's really sunny and warm here and it smells like plants. Warm plants.

I received one more entry from Allie at That Girl Is A Running Fool (I'm not sure I can do HTML with this so I can't link just yet) for my little running schedule contest. Here is here entry, girl glued rocks to a page! Awesome.

Well so I used a random number generator on my phone and it gave me this:

That means my winner is Katie N and you can view her entry on yesterdays post. Katie, email me your preference of Starbucks, Jamba Juice or Safeway and your mailing address for a $10 gift card of your choice!

All seven of the entries were amazing and clever. I wish I could give each of you a giftcard but I'm just not rollin in the dough like that. Instead I'm awarding you each an extra entry into next week's giveaway! This is a hosted one, and as soon as it rains I'll be able to test this out for you and then do a giveaway! Exciting right?

Ok, hubby just turned on the Snoop Dog. I gotta go, it's hard to bobble my head and rap along with him while typing. Whoopity woo! Ray Tizzle Out!

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

You Funny Little Birds You

2010-02-18T15:30:00.000-08:00

Last week I re-ruled a contest and re-opened it for everyone to enter. I had a feeling you all were lazy bumholes, but I had high hopes I was just smokin' crack and that maybe, just maybe you all were super creative and individuals of a higher caliber. I was wrong (and smokin' crack I suppose). I received six entries. SIX.

See if I ever have a giveaway with my own money again ... (Don't worry, I still love to host, especially if you want to send me a product to try out first!) and so, as promised, here are the entries I received. I asked that you took a blank running schedule of mine and add some crosstraining or whatever tickled your fancy butt and send it back to me.

Zoe from Run Zoe Run was the first to send one in, and while I've got her up on stage here with me, I'd like to direct you back to her blog where she is hosting a giveaway from Champion for some free running clothes! Holla!

Next Angie Bee from Barefoot Angie Bee sent me this little gem that includes an orgasm 3 times a week (only?) and a really great cup of coffee on Tuesdays. Me like.

Corey H (I couldn't find your blog, if ya got one, but email me and I'll link ya) sent me the following, and I have to say, you are more nuts then me! I sold my llama last week, specifically because bench pressing him was getting to be a hassle.

Jill over at Onelittletrigirl sent me this. I like Friday. I don't like shoveling snow. Who does?

Katie N from Must Run complimented my snarkiness (it's been well refined, hasn't it?) and sent me this

Finally, Victoria from "A Journey To A New Me" sent this hilarious version that was actually a giant powerpoint slide. Note to self: download powerpoint. I had to print the slide and then scan it and then save it as a picture for you all to see it. It's just me though and all my shortcomings with computers. If you can't see this one (or any of them actually) just click on the picture and it will show up in a different window larger.

So there's all my entries. You still have until midnight tonight if you think you can do better. I will post the winner tomorrow.

I'm off for a tempo run before hubby returns to his spot of dwelling and finds his fair maiden has done nothing but sleep, blog, watch the Olympics and eat popcorn all day. Haha!

Oh and just to make half of you jealous, I'm wearing a skirt and tank top to run in tonight because it's, oh ... I don't know ... 70 degrees outside ...

Another giveaway I need to smash in here, my running twin Allie from That Girl is a Running Fool! is having a RoadID giveaway!

Terrible Tuesday: Shut Your Rat Up

2010-02-16T17:15:00.000-08:00

I have a rat problem. Nothing compared to Erin's rat problem, but a problem none the less.

You see, I live in a townhouse here in Redding. A middle townhouse. That means a building in my complex holds 4 units and I'm one of the middle 2 units smashed between my neighbors. So far this hasn't been much of problem. The walls are paper thin, so I can hear conversations (sorta, if I jam my ear up to the wall and slow my breathing down to a whisper) and usually if someone is watching a movie or playing music with bass, I can pretty much Jeopardy it and name that tune or flick.

The neighbors on one side are an odd bunch, besides the fact that I have solid evidence they're growing greens over there (if you know what I mean ...) they also are the proud owners of vermin. Vermin in the shape of a dog.

Ok, actually I've never seen the little stinker, but that is completely what I imagine him to look like. I like to think I love all little animals, that I am a warm fuzzy soul with a kind loving heart. Frankly, and as I posted on facebook, "Shut your effing rat of a dog up before I go over there and squish it's stupid little head."

That wasn't exactly the note I left on their door. Actually it was far more delegated and articulated, as if that is even possible for me. That little shit-face barked, and barked non-stop (and by non stop I mean there was a 10 second break where I'm sure he licked his balls before he started up again) all damn day. I was deep within the delicate process of sleeping before another round of night-shift when I heard this noise through the wall, through my earplugs and into the deep cortex of my brain.

He continued on as I left for work. I took one last mournful glance at poor Suzy the cat and apologized for the racket she had to listen to for the next few hours. Long story short: I need ideas for how to kill this little bastard. No I'm kidding actually. I think my note was sufficient enough, asking them to "remedy the situation so it does not occur again" because they are already aware that I sleep during the day and that their dog is annoying as shit (as I have complained to management once before).

Today I did not hear a peep out of that thing. I woke early anyway and met J-Nizzle for a warm 4 mile jaunt. We jaunted and jogged and jiggled and jollied and then I nearly jaunted onto a snake ... a harmless one, but a snake none the less. I yelped, he yelped, we all yelped and leaped and it was quite a sight. He just wanted a little of the California sunshine I suppose, just like the rest of us.

Through the Woods We Go

2010-02-15T08:37:00.000-08:00

I fake a lot of things. Smile faking isn't as easy as other things to mimic.

I'd like to tell you that fabulous sweaty faced (and no make-up to boot!) picture is of a girl who has absolutely fallen in love with trail running. I'd like to tell you that my over bite is all your imagination. That I didn't practice that cute little smiley picture a million times.

Truth be told: I'm not sold on trail running just yet, my dentist is pushing for Invisaline braces and it took several tries for that picture to be a few degrees less scary then it already is.

Ah! Run away!

Saturday I decided to meet up with a local running group. Since moving here, somewhere along the way, I put my name on a random email list and rather then getting porno spam, I got a weekly offer to tag along for a trail run on Saturdays with a group of local enthusiasts. Up until this week I simply would read the emails, imagine myself attempting anything so hardcore, google the meeting spot just for ~~good measure~~ shits n' giggles and then promptly delete the email. This week however the group was running a trail I have been wanting to check out and they seemed to be going about 8-10 miles, which was just what my schedule called for. I figured if anything, I could e-mail the coordinator and ask if someone of my inexperience and turtle-torture slow pace would even be welcome. Stupid question because she just about pounced on me with excitement and encouragement. No turning back now, the woman was making Valentine's Day cupcakes for us to devour after the run. You don't have to lure my tummy too far. Sugar made me do it.

So I googled, gaggled and re-googled the trail head and showed up right on time. Several runners were already there, each seeming to be about 20 years older then I. They were welcoming and they told me that I would not get lost as this trail had recently been worked on and signs at forks along the way would indicate where to go. It had rained a few times throughout the week and the night before, so we were to expect mud, shallow puddles and loose footing in places.

I wore my old Nikes (like you really thought I'd get these bad mamas dirty just yet!) and I added the new Superfeet inserts into them for extra arch support (and torture). I also brought along my Ultimate Direction handheld water bottle. Actually typically I wouldn't even consider bringing it on a run under 10 miles, for many reasons. It's cold outside, I can usually find a fountain at one point or another during my typical runs and generally I don't get thirsty enough to care. Since I was running with "seasoned runners" and I was going to be prancing around in the wilderness and exerting myself more then normal, I figured I'd better be safe then sorry. Or sorry then safe? I nearly chucked that 25 dollar bottle into the bushes.

I wish I had brought the camera along to take a few pictures of the trail and the mud and the scenery, but I didn't. I wouldn't of had much time to stop anyways. I was indeed slower then nearly all the runners except one. Billie, a woman probably twice my age, stayed with me the whole time. She was probably a little slower then me but I slowed down to stay with her. I gotta watch out for my elders, she could of been a mountain lion snack. Which she made sure I was aware of the fact that lions and tiger woods and bears (oh my!) had been spotted on this trail by the other runners before. I was also told that every single member of the group had fallen on this trail, some more then once. Jim even showed me a place on his hand where he got 14 stitches from this trail. And now I'm to be trusted to remain in the upright position? Me? Look out.

Greta decided to be a little bitch and drop my satellite signal for about a mile. Since it was all switchbacks, it's hard to tell how much wasn't recorded, but frankly we went 9 miles total. The trail is marked out for you, I just wish I knew my total time. I'm punishing her by facing her away from me as I type right now. Don't look at me until you know better. I'm still feeding her, Heaven forbid she bleeps out on me for not charging or something.

The run itself went OK. I was tired by mile 3, my legs have never experienced rolling hills and climbs like that. Between jumping around puddles and dashing up switchbacks, I was really asking for trouble. My quads still burned from Friday's little spinning/4 miler workout and to top it all off, my stomach was brewing something wicked. In fact, I failed to evacuate the poop chute before running and boy o' boy was that a tough last mile. Especially when those magical Superfeet gave me not one, but 3 separate blisters on my left foot and toes. Only my left. Sorry if pictures like this gross you out, but who am I to care?

The skin on my 3rd toe is coming off, the top of that toe is swollen and bruised and the 2nd toe is also blistered and abused.

I'm saving your eyes from my ugly heels, which are not cracked but just as wrinkly fugly as the bottom of my foot. Notice the blister on my arch and look, I kicked my right leg at least 5 times!

The blisters, especially that arch blister, really did a fine number on my ability to finish the last 3 miles. My knees were aching, especially the backs. Did I mention that I only got 3 hours of sleep before hand? I went to bed at 11 the night before and then woke up like a methy at 2 in the morning! I tried to fall back asleep but ended up watching the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics again, sipping tea and slowly stewing in my anger.

Just a little poo colored mud.

I had fun and I'm very glad I went. I plan on going on some more trail runs with this group when I'm available (I mean, I'm that busy and important you know.) and I also plan on buying real trail shoes, because the combination of worn out runners and new inserts was a bit too much. I didn't get all that dirty as expected, but I would of been sad had I muddied up my new babies.

I was beat when I got home. I quickly showered and hopped back in bed for 4 restless hours of napping before heading off to work my first 12 hour night shift of the week. It was the most miserable shift of my life. Everything ached, my knees were barking. My dogs were screaming and my sleepy head was heavy. I came home Sunday morning to this text message from the hubs:

Hersheys Kiss or Pile of Poo? You decide. I know what he meant and he's a Douche-bag.

Since I was working the holiday, he ran off with another woman. I mean, his best boy toy (who's significant other also was working for Valentine's Day) and the two of them did lovey dovey things like work on old motors and drink beer, I'm sure. Those new shoes were my V-Day gift from him by the way. Even though I picked them out and bought them myself (joint checking, nothing is secret around here).

I used the empty house to advantage and drugged myself up for an 8 hour COMA before I went back to work Sunday night. It was the most dreamless, deep sleep I've ever experienced and it was euphoric at best.

If you're looking for Music Monday, you won't find it here this week. I'm putting together another cooldown list for next week however. Please don't forget the drawing contest going on, it ends Thursday and I'm a little disappointed that only 4 people have sent me entries. You suck! Kay love you, bub-bye.

Redemption

2010-02-13T12:27:00.000-08:00

After the extra helping of "Debbie the Downer" you all got yesterday from me, I figured you deserved a real Foto Friday post and something a little more, shall we say: "Rachaely"?

Actually I'd like to thank you all for the kind comments and reminders that running solves all of life's problems. Well, that may be taking it a bit far, but most definitely it would solve most of my current life problems. I took your encouragement and RAN with it.

So after my boo-who fest, I attended the Friday morning spinning session and rocked the cawk out of it! I can't believe how much easier that craziness is when you know what to expect! So with my spinning high in full gear I trampled off to the local running store in search of a new pair of running shoes. The old Nikes were, well, old. I could tell I needed new ones because my shinnys were aching and my foot was a little too comfortable in there, if you know what I mean. They had parked their asses on the couch and made a nice little den out of the cushions in their current abode, time to mix it up!

Turns out the exact same shoes I already wear (Nike Structure Triaxs) are the exact shoes that work best for my form, just a newer model. He threw me on the treadmill, had me run outside, inside and upside down and then he decided that they would do just fine with a pair of these rock hard Superfeet inserts. Fine, sold. If it fixes my impending IT issues, then I'll take it.

Did I mention my new shoes are PINK!

This is very important. When you get new running shoes, you must sniff the heck out them. Like a dog on a hot crotch, inhale deeply. Look at me, I've practically got a lace up my nare.

So even though I said I'd never do a run the same day as spinning again, I went ahead and pulled 4 miles on the new tires. Best run of my life. Maybe. So springy and fun and fast! I took the time to check out the wildlife and snap some pictures.

The same soggy river I always run by

My new shoes, staring at the soggy river

I got bored (and thought I saw something dead being eaten by vultures) and wandered off the paved path to investigate.

Just some green stuff off the path. Not the good green stuff either.

I thought I saw Carl, but it turns out, just another vulture. Or a hawk. I dunno.

The new Nikes almost got themselves into some stinky trouble. Narrow miss.

Trying to capture a good picture of the misty clouds over the mountains

Looking back at the trail, I don't know how we almost missed the dog poop. As you can see, it would stick out like a, a pile of dog poo on clean asphalt.

I came home from this fabulous run to find a package for me in the mail. I won Teamarcia's iDeclare giveaway a few weeks ago and I got to chose a simple charm with anything written on it. I considered many options: poop, burp, your mom, that's what she said (but it was too long ... ahaha! That's what she said! Couldn't resist.) and finally I came up with the this. Creative, I know.

So thank you to Teamarcia at Running Off at the Mouth and to Annette at iDeclare! Check out her site and look at all the cute little charms she has!

I just got back from my first muddy trail run and I will have a post on that possibly tomorrow or Monday (or Tuesday ...) so stay tuned!

Don't forget: That cute little contest I created is still wide open. I have about 3 or 4 entries total, which means your odds of winning are grand at this point, so draw your little hearts out and use your perverted minds to create a masterpiece!

Straight up Complaining

2010-02-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'm having trouble sticking to my runs these days.

Actually, I'm having trouble being anything more then a big fat slug.

Night shift does horrible awful terrible things to you. I used to be able to win the battle and I would force myself out of bed and onto more productive things, but lately I've been a slave to the sheets, even on my days off.

The goal of an average night shift worker is as follows:

Work your days all in a row (anywhere between 2 nights to 8 nights, it just depends)
The first "day off" is spent coming back to the land of Daylight. My goal is to come home in the morning of that first day and sleep 2-3 hours. Then drag my ass out of bed, NO MATTER WHAT, and do something, anything.
Attempt to go to bed that night at a reasonable hour (living on 2 hours of sleep should be sufficient enough to make you crash at 8pm)
Wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed on your second day off and be back to your Daytime self for the next 4-8 days.
Cycle back into nightshift the first "night on" by taking a forced nap before work begins.

So that's how it's done. Others may have a different way of handling it, but that has usually worked for me. Until I toss my own lead wrench into the works. Like say ... not getting up after those initial 3 hours of sleep. Not getting out of bed the next day, or the next or the next.

This odd pattern leads to what I like to call "night shift hangover" and a sort of in-between state. I will be wide awake until 2 am and then I'll sleep until noon the next day and have no luck doing anything productive after that point.

Drugs sometimes work. Usually they do their job *too* well and they lead to a lazy bedhead the next day. Running works sometimes, but not always.

Especially when you put off runs and skip them entirely. Whoops.

This week I have:

cut my easy run short by a mile and ran it too hard
pushed my tempo run back a day and then never ran it at all (except for 3 miles on the dreadmill last night before I just couldn't take it anymore)
missed my hill repeats completely

Today I have a spinning class set for 10am, but we can't be certain I'll actually roll out of bed in time to go (I'm pre-scheduling this blog post as it's actually nearly midnight, see?!?).

Saturday I'm running 10 miles, with or without J-Nizzle (she has been M.I.A. since our long run last week because of work and family stuff) but I'm contemplating a trail "group run" I caught wind of with the local running club. I'm on the fence since I'm so slow. I think I'm going to e-mail the coordinator and ask him straight up if he thinks I'll be okay and won't get left behind. If it was happening on a trail I knew, I wouldn't care, but this a park zone I've never even heard of, so I'm a little nervous about being in the forest all alone. Mountain lions and all.

I've never been clinically depressed, nor have I ever been to the point where I truly thought I was, but I can say this with solid certainty: If I didn't have this whole running thing to fall back on, and consequently, if I was still 30 pounds heavier; I would be in a very bad place.

Laying in bed all day and half sleeping through Oprah and Ellen, spending hours online reading blogs, not eating a thing until dinner times rolls around and only because the Hub is now home (and he's pissed I did nothing in the way of cleaning/running/studying) and not going out to see friends is really taking a toll on me. I need to get up and get out of bed. Do some serious running and working out, eat properly and make some damn friends in this stupid little town or I'm going to run myself right off the deep end.

I'll still blog. I'm just saying.

Clearly I'm at the edge of a deep hole and I need to step away and look behind me and head back in that direction.

(FYI: I'm not looking for sympathy points, so put that back in your pocket. I'm just clearing my plate.)

Giveaways:
Jill (onelittletrigirl) is having her Blogerversary and has a few items she's giving away here.

The Giveaway that "Layed an Egg"

2010-02-11T07:00:00.000-08:00

First things first: Some of you claim you entered my contest from last week even though I saw NADA in my inbox. The rules of the contest were as follows:

Save this picture to your computer directly from the blog

Take a look at that solid schedule of running and then add in my cross-training and whatever else you think I should be doing to supplement that running stuff.
Be creative and don't worry about whether or not you think I'll actually do it or if it fits my work schedule, married life, pooping schedule, etc.
Heck it doesn't even have to make sense, just be funny.
Open up "Paint" or something equivalent and draw in the little boxes your grand plans for me.
Mail me back the new schedule/photo as an attachment to rachaelannetaylor@yahoo.com
I will put all of them up on a future blog post and pick my favorite for a $10 giftcard from either Starbucks, Jamba Juice or Safeway (your choice since some of you don't like coffee or live near a Starbucks, which I find both hard to believe and tragic).
This is open to everyone and yes, I'm reopening it since one person so far has sent me this little gem back all marked up pretty like (thanks Zoe!) and we'll now extend it to Thursday the 18th (that's next week dingbats).
Now you can all go back and read last Terrible Tuesday's post about how to do it and realize that it's not that hard and it will be funny as heck if more then, oh I don't know ... 3 people enter!
I can't leave this list with only 9 things, so .... I urge you do this so I can see how ~~crazy~~ creative you all are and how much you want to create a little workout schedule for your favorite air-headed Beginning Runner!

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I ran some quick miles on Tuesday. That was supposed to be my "easy run" (pay no attention to the schedule I just posted and how my "easy run" should be on Mondays, PAY NO ATTENTION!) and I took that "easy" to the extreme and ran the fastest 3 miles of my life. I maintained a pace in the low low 8's for at least a minute or two before I realized that injuring myself during an "easy run" would be the biggest dope of a fail ever ...

Today I'm doing my Tempo Run of 7 miles total with a mile and half warm up and cool down and repeats of 1600/800 times 3 in between. I've set Greta up to beep the intervals out for me and she's all ready and raring to go. We'll see if I actually get as excited as she is.

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I really was perplexed with the following question the other night. Don't ask where it came from, sometimes I zone out during TV and find myself wondering about the strangest things. So I looked over at hubby and asked, "Why do some chickens lay brown eggs and some chickens lay white eggs?" and he just shrugged. I dug deeper, "Is it something they eat? Can a chicken lay a brown egg one day and a white egg the other day?" and hubby only shrugged again. Question left my mind and then hubby comes home from work the next day and proceeds to tell me the following, "It's just like I thought, I told you I was right, about the chickens." Lemme get this straight, you answered me about that by shrugging. "Chickens are like people, some people have genes that make them dark-skinned and some people are light skinned" I think it goes deeper then genes hun, like say some people are from Africian decent and some are from Oklahoma, yourself included, "and so that's why a chicken will lay brown eggs and some chickens lay white ones," and so how do you tell which chicken is gonna lay which? And he replies with the most outrageous answer ever, "From their earlobe."

I had to google this to be sure. I found Mr. Breakfast and his perfect answer and explanation here but I'll give you the short of it:

"White eggs come from white chickens and brown eggs come from brown-ish chickens ... Let's get weird for a second and pretend you have a chicken sitting beside you. Imagine this crazy chicken is kind of an off-white brownish yellow. You're no chicken expert and you have no idea what breed you're looking at. Here's the secret to predicting the color of eggs a chicken will lay: look at their earlobes. This is true stuff. The pigments in the outer layer of the eggshell will always approximate the color of the earlobe of the chicken that laid the egg."

Now, go back to the water cooler and spread your hen-house knowledge. Spread!

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Another giveaway you don't want to miss: ShutupandRun's Champion LOOT giveaway! (by the way missy, NO YOU DID NOT ENTER MY GIVEAWAY!)

Wheeezzze

2010-02-10T07:20:00.000-08:00

For those of you that don't know, I'm a Certified Respiratory Therapist. I'll just pre-face this post with that for reasons unbeknownst to me at this time.

One of the reasons I never enjoyed running (or any strenuous activity) was because it hurt. Not like it should hurt either. It made my chest hurt.

Chest pain is serious and should never be overlooked, no matter your age or how healthy you deem yourself. In my case, this chest pain had nothing to do with my ticker. Instead, it was from Exercised Induced Asthma. Something I didn't figure out until I was in Respiratory Therapy school and I read it within the pages of possibly the only textbook I cracked open the 2 years I was in the program.

Tight, burning pain. Followed by that lovely feeling like a fish out of water. Symptoms are different for everyone. Asthma in general is caused by the swelling and inflammation of your bronchioles (those tubes that bring air to your lungs) and occasionally this causes increased mucous production as well. Wheezing is a common sign that an attack is coming. Wheezing results from the air in those tubes being constricted. Sort of like a musical device, its the sound of air being forced through small openings. When you get so bad that you STOP wheezing, that means the air can't pass at all and you die. No I'm only half kidding, you only die if you don't seek medical attention.

Growing up I had friends with asthma. Usually they had an attack when they got too excited or a chemical irritated their lungs. They'd whip out an inhaler and suck on it like a lollipop and all would be great, I guess. I never put a thought to it. I never knew that sometimes people like me are perfectly normal, until they're not.

So I always had difficulty during activity and found myself avoiding exercise of certain calibers. I didn't know that I had a breathing problem, especially because I was just fine every other day of the year.

Then in 2008, a week after I got married, our area was devastated by wildfires. For a month straight. The wind also was a mean little butthead and decided to take a summer vacation. So the fires stopped spreading but the smoke hung out for weeks. We didn't see the sun for 7 days at a time, and that's only because we took a coastal vacation and saw some blue sky before the fog came. It was a summer to remember.

The parking lot of the hospital I worked at

Photo I jacked on Google, this is how it looked for weeks

One night, after the Husband and I had "exercised" and the windows in our house had been left open (I'm not kidding, everything smelled like campfire smoke for weeks) I developed an audible "wheeze" and Hubby looks down at me and goes, "What is that strange little noise you're making?" and much to his dismay, it wasn't a love coo. Ah-ha, I *do* have asthma.

Off to the Doc's I flittered and I was fitted with a lovely little inhaler of Albuterol to ease my discomfort. I used it 20 minutes before going for a run and, low and behold, my chest didn't burn and I could, well, BREATHE!

Albuterol is a bronchodilator. It eases the smooth muscle tissue in your airways and decreases constriction. It can be used before activity as well to prevent constriction but also as a "rescue" medication in the event of an attack. It also comes in liquid form and can be "nebulized" to the lungs. I use this stuff on patients 76 different times in a 12 hour period (yeah, I counted). I'll probably start oozing Albuterol from my pores one of these days.

I'll show you the incorrect way to use an inhaler:

That's right, Betty here is doing this wrong

Why? Why is that the wrong way, because it looks like how everyone else does it and it looks like what they do on TV ... well I'll tell you why. She's putting her lips around it, she's directly actuating into her mouth. An inhaler is nothing more then air compressed medication in a canister. When you push the top, the medication sprays out in a little puff from the mouth of the inhaler. Where do you suppose the medication is going when you do it as the chick in the picture above is? On your tongue, or maybe other oral tissues. Okay, so about 40% makes it into your airway if you do it properly and hold the breath in for 30 seconds. Sure the medication may eventually soak into your tissues, into the bloodstream and make it's way back to your lungs via the circulatory system, but then it's not really "fast-acting" is it?

The best way to do this would be with a chamber (also called a spacer). It's huge and blocky and definitely not easy to take with you on a run.

This allows for the medication to be actuated into the chamber first where it will be suspended in the air (the plastic in the chamber is special and the medication won't stick to it, don't ask how) and then you are free to take a big breath in and all of that medication will make it down to your poor little airways.
Inhalers aren't typically given out with Spacers/Chambers, unless you are a child. They seem to think adults have better skill then children when it comes to dispensing properly. If you don't have a spacer, you could just hold the inhaler about 3 inches from your wide open gaping mouth and actuate and then quickly take a suck in, this is actually more effective then putting your mouth around it.

Chambers are like candy, we give them away at the hospital with each inhaler we prescribe, free of charge. I have one I jacked from work myself. They can be purchased at a medical supply store for about $15.00 or you can purchase online.

So. There's my schpeal on EIA (exercise induced asthma) and why you need to stop sucking on that inhaler like a crack addict. 2 puffs twenty minutes before a run will be sufficient and then as needed during a run. Of course, follow the directions from your doctor and pharmacist and always consult with a doctor before changing or beginning any medications.

Terrible Tuesday: Did'ya Miss Me?

2010-02-09T07:44:00.001-08:00

Oh where or where has that little butthead gone? Oh where or where has she goooooone ....
She's not in the shed or hiding under my bed. Oh .... where oh where has she gone?

She is avoiding you. That's where.

Ok, that's not true. I love you freaks all too much. You love me too much. We all love each other and it's a run-bloggy orgy around here!

I have not run since Friday's bad brick-like idea of spinning followed by running 10 miles. I plan on running my scheduled 4 miles today after I sleep a little. If my knee isn't shit. I have a sneaky feeling it's going to be a Mister Grumpy Pants on me and then *I'm* gonna be a Mister Grumpy Pants. And I don't mean the kind that requires use of a lavatory. Well maybe.

So nobody entered my giveaway from last Terrible Tuesday! Nobody! Fine. I'll keep that giftcard for myself ...

I guess I have to do this myself: core work 5 days a week (the lite version, just one calorie.) Spinning on Thursdays or Fridays and eliptical work Tuesdays. Yay ... (monotone now, let's do that again:) Y-a-y ...

In other news, I'm completely (COMPLETELY!) obsessed with "Words with Friends" on my iPhone, Senior Jack. If you want to play with yours truly, exclusive offer here, my screen name is "screenname" ... no I'm kidding. I'm not that clever, lemme show you how clever: my screen name is "thebeginningrunner" ...

Uh. That is all. I have 7 million blog posts to catch up on because you people never shut up.

Friday Firsts: The Wet Edition

2010-02-05T15:47:00.000-08:00

I'm ready to be warm and dry and cozy. Today I decided I would throw my ass on the line and do some new things.

Spinning Class ends with Sweat Bath

Nope, never been to a spinning class before. Never. I was terrified of going. Terrified.

I figured I'd fall off or suck or get yelled at and get myself way in over my head. J-Nizzle picked up a February class schedule from our gym (a gym that, until today, I had never visited since moving here, another first?) and I noticed a *NEW* tag next to a "Beginning Spinning" class at 7:00am. Perfect.

I showed up and nobody was there. I almost gave up when I inquired at the desk about the time and the location. The girl just looked at me like I had broccoli stuck to my forehead (quite a possibility) and then the instructor walked by and overheard me asking about it. She introduced herself and told me it was starting at 7:15. Turns out I was one out of two students that showed up for the class. Which was perfect again because she had time to coach me on my form and fit me to the bike.

The very first time I stood up and she forced me to hover back over the seat, I thought my quads were going to explode. Was I really that out of shape? I run dammit! Apparently I don't use *those* muscles while running, at least not in that way.

So I worked up a sweat quickly and by the end of the class, my Barbie bone was killing me (you know, that pelvic bone that lays just under your va-jay-jay? Barbie has one, therefore my friends and I have always called it our Barbie bone. Don't ask why we needed to reference that to each other. Just don't.) and I was getting better at standing up. I didn't feel sore when I left but I was drenched in sweat.

10-mile Run in the Rain

After spinning class I went home, changed into my rain gear (including a new rain shell) and I met J-Nizzle at the bridge and off we started on our 10-mile PAIN FEST.

It down poured for a bit, then it drizzled, then it spit, then it didn't, then it pelted and the cycle started over again. It wasn't all that exhilarating, mostly because I was in pain. Not a pain I could point a finger at either. First it was my shins and the tops of my feet. Not splint-like pain. Just muscle ache. Then my knees got stiff. Then later, after all that had warmed up, my Barbie bone (presumably from spinning) began to ache. This was at mile 8 or so. I plugged on and that pain too went away. Finally my right knee had it. He busted out a tantrum and a full blown anger fest on me. I had to walk the last quarter mile of our run. It seriously could be ITB pain, but I'm not certain. It's disappeared now, 3 hours later.

My Very First Ice Bath

Although I *only* ran 10 miles, the pain in my legs was enough that I figured an ice bath would be a good idea. I had tried a couple mild baths over the summer and I was able to sort of tolerate them. I stopped by the ~~shitty~~ gas station and purchased two 20 pound bags of ice. I didn't really notice that they had melted once before and re-hardened into blocks. I got home and thanks to advice from many of my twitter friends, I prepared some tea and even some left over whole wheat pasta from the night before to keep me warm during the bath.

Yep, that's my bathroom floor. I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's clean.

In my defense, those towels aren't really orange. They're Tuscan Clay ... oh ok. They're orange.

I dumped the bags in, only to watch a solid block slide out and sit there in the water like an artic iceberg. So, I got impatient and grabbed the hammer and broke all the pieces up. Then I attempted to get it. I made it in with my feet only before I jumped out and scuffled around the room trying to get my feet to stop screaming.

See the excitement on my face about all this? No? Then pay no attention to the fact that I look like a homeless man or a rapist

Amy, Aron and Tony all talked me through the process on Twitter. It was quite a conversation actually. Amy yelling at me to just do it and me pleading back with them. Finally after several unsucessful dunks (and subsequent "frolicking" about the house in my bikini bottoms trying to get feeling back) I forced myself in and after about 2 minutes everything went numb. I drank my tea and read my twitter feed on Mr. Jack and had to laugh at myself. Ten minutes approached and I decided that the teeth chattering had gone far enough. Plus, I was out of tea and that pasta looked like crap sitting down there on the bathroom floor. So I pulled myself out, somehow, toweled off and crawled under the covers of our bed and shivered until I felt better.

For the record: I will never do that again. It was torture. I can imagine child birth would feel more pleasant then that. I can't be sure, but if child birth IS worse, I'm adopting. Fa-shizzle.

So there's my day of firsts. I have super sore calves right now, the knee pain is gone and I feel like I just got ran over by a semi. I can't wait for a nap. We're heading off to the "homeland" as soon as douche-bag face gets off from work. I plan on sleeping the whole drive.

I Have Balls

2010-02-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

This is the post where I show you how big my balls are. Yes, I mean my imaginary huevos between my legs.

ShutUpAndRun has been buggin' me about posting pictures of my ass. I didn't realize she was such an Ass-Woman. For the record, she has posted pictures of her own ass (oh yeah, baby, I went THERE).

Since my ass isn't necessarily huge, just dimpled and flubby and generally FAT I figured I'd spare you all the ass shot (at least until some improvements are made) and instead I'll show you my balls, hair and all. Kidding.

Many of you are new followers and may not know much about me and my struggle with weight loss. So lets take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

I don't have many pictures of myself when I was heavier this go around (yeah, I have been fat and then not-fat and then fat again, it's a large pill to swallow twice) because I wouldn't let a camera anywhere near me. Luckily for the sake of documentation and probably because my friends felt better about posting pictures of themselves on facebook if I was standing next to them ... pictures have surfaced.

Our wedding, June 2008. This is the start of the weight creepin' back on. At marriage time I was approximately 150 pounds, though I could of been more. I was carrying a lot of weight in my tummy area and in a lot of photographs from the wedding I sadly look 6 months pregnant. I regret wearing that dress and not a corseted one, still, to this day.

November 2008, this is the semester that I gained all my weight back. I would estimate that I was 160 to 170 here. I think I gained more on top of this until January of 2009. I don't have pictures from that time however. Of course you can't see my tummy or anything, but you can tell from my face and my arms that I have packed on pounds. (FYI: My profile picture up there to the right, that's at the weight I am now, but actually taken BEFORE this picture. Crazy right?)

This was from a conference in Reno March 2009 (we look like we're working really hard, right?) and I was SO self-conscious this whole trip. You can't see the rest of my body and luckily nobody really took full length body pictures of me. That would of been automatic grounds for ass-kickin' right there. I was 160 or so, maybe more. My boobs were outta control and the fat in my face is really bothersome.

From January to July 2009 I worked hard to lose weight. I lost about 10 pounds putting me at the 160 mark for the summer. With running and training to run I began to lose it all pretty quickly.

September 2009, after I THOUGHT I had lost some significant weight and was looking better. I think I'm horribly gross in these pictures. I would bet I'm about 155 pounds. I have it documented on my phone that I was 151 in October of 2009. I think I blogged about that too, but I'm not going to look back and see.

I've posted some recent pictures of me on here, from NYE and just on Friday a head shot from my running adventure to which Doodle insisted she could tell I've lost weight, though I think that's hard to do with a face alone.

The most amazing weight loss has occurred in the last 4 weeks. All in the month of January. At the beginning of the month I weighed 150 (or 149 on a good day) and I was pudgy around the middle, making my size 8 jeans a little tight and occasionally (with the wrong shirt on) I would muffin-top a bit. Thinking I would do some great core workouts in January, I took a picture of my belly. When I took the picture (on January 6th) I was having a "thin" day. A day when I was feeling skinnier then average and my tummy appeared flatter to me then any other day. I had just "cleared the shute" if you know what I mean and I wasn't the least bit bloated.

Bring on the 20 mile weeks of running, speedwork, hill repeats and ~~Cadbury eggs~~ healthy nutritious eating ... and you get a weight loss of 5-7 pounds. I was 144 yesterday. To be scientific and all, I use the same scale, on the same surface each time I weigh. I'm always stark raving nakie and freshly evacuated. Usually when I first wake up before I eat and before I run.

I took another picture last night (January 29th, I'm pre-writing this post and scheduling it, deal.) and the difference is significant in my eyes. I have done no core work. Bad I know, but this is what increasing my training has done to my body in a few short weeks. I must clarify too: I have been eating plenty to sustain the caloric burn and energy required for running and working. I eat balanced meals (although candy on a daily basis isn't really keeping that "balanced" thing in check) and I get puh-lenty of sleep.

The top two pictures are from 1/6/10 and the bottom two are from 1/29/10 (dur.) and you may want to click on the picture as I've had to make it small to fit my pre-formatted blog layout.

Just think what I could do with a little core work and a continued training schedule ... (BIG FAT REMINDER ALERT: ENTER THAT SILLY CONTEST I POSTED ABOUT YESTER-YEAR)

So there it is ... my balls are huge, I know. They've got to be for me to be showing all of the Internet world my flabby stomach and all my prior fat photos.

*Sorry if you were truly hoping for a picture of my balls. I got those chopped years ago.

Terrible Tuesday: Not so Terrible?

2010-02-02T06:00:00.000-08:00

By now, 5 weeks into this "Terrible Tuesday" phase and you're probably wondering what is so gosh darn Terrible about Tuesdays ....

Nothing. I'm just weird.

Tuesdays tend to be rough for me. Typically I've got one more night shift to go, usually it's my fourth in a row. I can almost never get myself out of bed for a run or workout of any kind. I'm planning on hitting the gym for a little elliptical action when I wake up later (you wonder: am I typing in my sleep? Almost.) and giving my knees some action. Poor fellas, they've been beat down lately, they need some work so they can handle my awesomeness.

January saw 58 miles total, including the week of sickness where I only logged 6 miles total. I may make my 1,010 goal if I get some major time in. I'm up to running 20 miles a week now, I'm hoping for 22 this week.

Redhead shot down my idea of killing Mt. Muthereffer twice a week. Too much speed work is bad for me I guess. Ok, agreed.

Easy run on Mondays, Tempo Runs on Wednesdays, Hills on Thursdays and Long Runs on Saturdays. I have the running schedule tackled. Time to add cross-training and core work finally, maybe strength training too. Any suggestions?

You've got three days to work with there (Sunday, Tuesday and Fridays) figure out the rest of my schedule for me, I'm too lazy to do it myself. I'll stick to it once I establish it, promise. That's half my battle, decisions. I have access to a gym and I have time at home, so ... you say it, I'll do it. Now's your chance to control another human being. Hehe.

There you go, snag the picture and fill it in. Email me (thebeginningrunner [at] gmail.com) your ideas (use Paint and fill it in, be cute and funny) and I will enter you into a drawing for a Starbucks $10 giftcard. This is also to celebrate my little blog's 100+ followers milestone! In order to be entered, you literally have to save that picture, put something in there for training and email the picture back to me as an attachment, capeesh?

Ok ladies and gents, that's it for Terrible Tuesday ... wasn't so bad, right?

(this ends Saturday the 6th at Midnight)

Music Monday: A Little Sumthin' For Everyone

2010-02-01T07:54:00.000-08:00

Since I basically ran out of ~~"themed" Music Mondays awhile ago,~~ time and brain cells for today (I actually have a few more Cooldown posts for Music Mondays) I'm just going now by what I have been downloading for myself lately. Sort of a grab bag of crap. Yay ... crap. Cheer with me now!

Can't Tell Me Nothing -- Kanye West

This is classic "Rachael Running Music". I can't believe I had yet to come across this song or add it to my list. So here it is. If you seem to follow my taste at all, download this one if you haven't already.

Pride & Joy -- Stevie Ray Vaughan

This was the bread and butter I was raised on. My dad is hard core into backwater blues and good ol' rock and roll. I grew up helping daddy repair the Ford on the weekends while this played in the background. Just you wait until the day comes when I can hoard 10 of these into a playlist for running.

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These) -- Marilyn Manson

This is a little peek into my twisted side. I really enjoy some quality screaming metal, and actually I love blaring this crap in my car. When I'm stopped at a red light, I'll look over at the old couple next to me and snarl. No I'm totally kidding. Maybe.

Telephone -- Lady Gaga & Beyonce

Awesomely horrible music video. Song gets catchy though after a few plays. It's typical hyper stuff that gets me moving and a grooving, or something to that effect.

Major Tom -- Shiny Toy Guns

Awesome remake of Peter Schilling's version. It's got a really nice fast beat, perfect for quick bursts of energy.

Well, that's all you're squeezing out of me today.

In case you're wondering, Suzy is still strung out on the crack. I'm going to be the worst mother ever.
-"Rachael, where is your child?"
-"I'unno, hope he didn't find my huge bag of ... buttons ... and eat them .. or something. I think I left it in his playpen."

The Sunday Post

2010-01-31T08:08:00.000-08:00

The Beginning Runner's Headlines

Rachael Always Does as Her Fruit Suggests

I hope you're all blind to my oily pores. Be blind.

Top sources name "The Banana" as a great alleviant to cramping and muscle pain. Rachael prefers prescription drugs. More on that story at 11.

Bald Eagle Spotted During Rachael's NINE MILE run on Saturday

I didn't have a camera, this was jacked from Bird Scene but looks exactly like Carl.

Sources confirm that, not only did Rachael run 9 miles all by her lonesome on Saturday, she named the feathered amigo Carl. She was overheard describing Carl as a beast, roughly the size of a raccoon. She attempted to capture his attention with a chortle or two, until she realized it was likely unwise to be mimicking cute little birdies when a large bird of prey glared from 20 feet above. She also, reportedly, lost her new Nike fleece skull cap [sources reveal it had a clever hole in the back for a pony tail] along the river trail.

Breaking News Alert!

As this post was heading to press, alarming deviant behavior was brought to the attention of Rachael and her un-named lover [friends admit, he's just her husband]. Suzy the Holy Pimp Master [also referred to commonly as The Cat] was engaging in illicit activity. Opening the office door, Rachael discovered a very drugged up kitty. Suzy had, in the course of the night, discovered a secret stash of Cat Nip [other names: Kitty Ma-jay-jay, Krazy Kibble, Pussy Pot, Whisker Weed or Cat-a-bis] and devoured half the bag, ripping it open in spots and spilling it's contents about the house.

Police reports reveal the house is in an uproar as the Far-out Feline remains on the run and elusive. Rachael isn't sure how she'll ever manage sleep with this kind of activity occurring in her own home. A local feline drug rehab center [Litter Box Commons] declined to comment on whether or not they had been contacted by the Taylor family for special counseling and detoxing efforts.

Paparazzi arrived quickly on scene and snapped this picture of the loot. This post has surely never seen such carnage before. DEA officers are sure to arrive on scene shortly. We will keep you up to date on this story as more details surface.

Chewed a damn hole right through the bag she did! Druggie.

Foto Friday: My 6 Mile Adventure

2010-01-29T06:00:00.000-08:00

I have never done a photo-log before. Today won't be much of an attempt either. Sorry. No, I'm not actually. I just can't put that much effort into a post, it's not really a personal thing against you (ok it is) but more an "I'm too lazy for this blogging thing". You are all nodding in agreement, AREN'T YOU?

I had six miles to pound out on Wednesday and not a J-Nizzle in sight (she went bike riding with her lover while I was sleeping off my night shift and so she was too pooped to party). I figured that without a viable witness, I was free to snap photos all I wanted. I mean, who really wants to explain to your non-bloggy running buddy that you're going to be posting these pictures on your (NERD ALERT!) blog? Not I.

I have shame.

I decided to start off at the Sundial Bridge, mostly for your sake. If I didn't, all you'd get were super awesome pictures of the river, over and over and over. Oh wait, and ... yes, the river.

This bridge is pretty much the coolest thing in Redding, besides yours truly, and that phenomenon hasn't really caught on yet. Just you wait. I can see this bridge from work, driving home from work, driving anywhere in Redding pretty much. It's like a beacon of light. It actually has a beacon light on the top, I imagine it's a safety factor for planes and all ... gotta watch out for ze planes boss.

See how freaking cool this is when your standing before the gigantic phallic resemblance that is the "stalk" of the bridge. Oh the jokes I could make. I won't. I'll spare the delicate town of Redding.

That white peak off in the distance is Mt. Lassen. Oddly I can never seem to get out from under the shadow of this mountain. I was born under it in Lake Almanor and now it seems it watches over me wherever I go. That and the damn Sacramento River. It follows me wherever I go too.

This is a railroad trestle. Or so Hubby tells me. Yep, a real train has passed over me before while I was running under it. It's really cool and sort of creepy all at once. This is about a mile into my run.

2 Miles into the run and we've made it back over to the other side of the river onto the part of trail I commonly run with J-Nizzle. I have never run it alone before, sort of desolate, right? Let's check behind us ...

Oh yep, nobody coming that way either. Actually I passed quite a few runners and walkers and bikers. I only got passed once by a chick with some serious yellow shorts on. I should of taken a picture, but I'm still too shy to take pictures of people I don't know. I'm sure I'll break that barrier one day too.

Me and my goofball smile. Check out Snack on my shirt there. He's a good little iPod, I'm still getting used to those earphones. At least the river isn't as brown as it was a few days ago. That was freaky.

J-Nizzle gave me some Sport Beans to try out. I guess she was there in spirit because at mile 3 I ate these little suckers. They were alright. I'm not much of a jelly bean fan. Shocking I know, since I partake in practically every other crappy candy out there. They didn't stick to my teeth as much as other gummy chewy energy things do, but this was a nice break from GU. I'm getting burnt out on that ick.

Back at the Sundial, run is ov-ah! I know I just skipped 3 miles coming back, but it was getting dark and really there wasn't much else to see. The sunset was craptasyically normal and I was getting a little paranoid about stopping and whipping out my camera in front of bums and teenagers ...

The surface of the bridge is made of tempered glass, so they put lights underneath it for night time and it glows. During the month of October they made the lights pink for breast cancer awareness. I wish I had taken a picture of that, it was really something to behold.

Shark fin or the base of the shaft ... you decide. I won't judge.

Trippy right? This stuff is so cushy to run on, I'm not kidding. I always feel like I'm floating on a cloud when I'm running across this thing. It could also be the queasy wobbling the bridge does in the wind. I'm just sayin ...

The same picture from earlier but in the dark, you know, because everything looks better in the dark.

Last picture I took before I flew back in that direction to the car. It's really cool looking right? If you squint, or click on the picture, you can see some runners coming towards me. Rock on runners! Rock on! This little beginning runner is headed off for some yummy dinner and, oh wait, no candy. I forgot, I'm on a no-candy kick. Thus begins the sad days of my life.

If I win a Michael Kors tote bag from Zoe at RunZoeRun! then I may feel a little better, especially if she stuffs it with candy and doesn't say a word to anyone about it. RIGHT ZOE?!? oh and I'm supposed to promote the giveaway which I suppose you could find by clicking here, but just be warned that if you do click this long ass link, it may lead to a porn infested virus site ... because I don't want anymore people to enter so I can WIN!

Come inside, enjoy the Crazy

2010-01-27T06:00:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, I'd like to say "Hi and how you be?" to all my new followers! It appears in the last few weeks I've gained about 20 new followers. I've tried checking out each of your blogs, but I get really lost and confused and wind up with my thumb up my butt and a cross-eyed look on my face when I try to remember all the people I've visited.

So if you think I'm ignoring you or you want me to come check out your blog, leave me a comment on this post and I'll go hang out at your place for a bit and you know .. .sniff the carpet, eat the grapes in the fridge, steal your prescription meds from the bathroom ... then I'll sit on your couch and complain about the wallpaper. No really, if you blatantly ask me to come visit, I'm more likely to pay attention to you. If you could be in my head for a day, you'd understand why I only follow faithfully like 20 blogs ... I have the attention span of a gnat.

... George Clooney is still pretty hot ... for an old fart ... but R.Patz is way hotter in that tortured artist way and I want his babies ... and a Cadbury egg .. or three ... and how come I don't have abs yet, I mean, I don't do ab workouts, but I run, a lot more then I used to, so that should develop abs. I need to eat something or I'm going to pass out. Actually, I need to take a shower before work. I hate showers. Beforehand. I love them during the shower and hot water phase ... where's the cat? Suzy! Come here. Stop being dumb. No, you're dumb. Check iPhone. Check iPhone again. Still no new comments on my blog. Okay, fine. ....

That's only 20 seconds of my brain. It's amazing I can function at a normal level and actually manage to complete daily tasks.

Anyways, this IS a running blog. On with the running. I ran my furthest ever on Saturday this last weekend with J-Nizzle. 8 miles in the drenching cold rain. It was amazing and I loved every bit of it. It was so cold and I think I hacked up 2 cups of junk from my lungs total.

Then I took 2 days off. I was supposed to run my "Easy 2 Miles" on Monday but I slept instead. Go me.
So I rolled out of bed at 2pm on Tuesday and found a text from J-Nizzle, she was waiting for me already. Way to light a fire under my fat butt. We were out running by 2:15 ... yeah ... I struggled. We didn't make it easy either, a very fast pace for me, 10:45. Don't laugh. I said stop laughing. Meanie-heads. You're lucky I love you guys.

Tempo miles today, after I sleep off my night shift. I feel like I'm covered in germs right now. Peeling off the layers of scrubs and snot rot as we speak.

Terrible Tuesday: Un-Prep

2010-01-26T08:10:00.000-08:00

I love how you all shat bricks when I got real yesterday. Shoot. I was hoping y'all wouldn't catch on that I actually have a brain and that my vocabulary isn't primarily littered with F-bombs and California Slang.

Today's Lesson: Being Unprepared is Sucky

Procrastination is my drink. I live it, breathe it and preach it everyday. Regret thereby follows.

Go grocery shopping ahead of time so you aren't stuck with the following options for dinner: big game hunting or scavenging for scraps in the ICU (ie: cookies out of tin or left over Doritos from a staff meeting)
Don't stay up until 3am blogging and reading blogs and finding new blogs and blogs blogs blah-blitty-blogs ... so that you can wake up early and run your "easy 2 miles" on the day YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
Taking a shower when the thought first arises ... so you aren't scrambling to dry the mop of shit you call hair 15 minutes before work starts.
Going to bed right when you get off work instead of writing this Terrible Tuesday post so you aren't putting off ANOTHER run

If you think you should do it. Just freaking do it.